Free The Humans by Stephen Karam Page A

didn’t mean to get us . . . I was just saying it’s funny you guys’ll try—you put faith in, in juice-cleansing or / yoga but you won’t try church—
    BRIGID
    I did one juice-cleanse . . . one . . .
ERIK
DEIRDRE
—you eat chard to feel your
My mouth is shut . . .
best but you still—you said
 
half your friends are in therapy,
 
/ you said that so I’m asking—
 
    BRIGID
    That’s because—yeah, I was trying to get you to pay for mine— I still can’t afford it—
    ERIK
    Well save some of the money you spend on organic juice and pay for it yourself—
    BRIGID
    Don’t criticize me for caring about my mental health—
    AIMEE
    Okay . . .
    ERIK
    Well what about—Rich’s mom is a therapist—why don’t you get it from her?—
DEIRDRE
BRIGID
Erik . . .
Yeah, Dad, I’ll get therapy from my mother-in-law, that’s an awesome idea.
    Small beat.
    DEIRDRE
    She’s not your mother-in-law unless you get married—
    AIMEE
    Mom . . . [don’t] . . .
    BRIGID
    Looking for work every day, it’s depressing—
    ERIK
    Well you’ve still got the will to eat super-foods—if you’re so miserable why’re you trying to live forever?
    Aimee smiles involuntarily.
    BRIGID
    Last week—I shouldn’t even tell you—
ERIK
RICHARD
Tell us what?
I don’t think you appreciate
 
how hard she’s been working . . .
BRIGID
RICHARD
Babe, you don’t have to—
. . . she’s been bartending at
 
two places while applying for
 
every possible artist grant or
 
residency you can think of . . .
Babe—
      (To Brigid)
 
. . . tell them, you’ll feel better . . .
ERIK
BRIGID
Tell us what?
He won’t care . . .
DEIRDRE
RICHARD
Tell us . . .
You’ll feel better . . .
    ERIK
    Of course I’ll care.
    RICHARD
    Read it to him, you’ll feel better.
    Brigid gets out her phone, searches for something.
    RICHARD
    This one professor has been writing all of her recommendation letters for all these applications and—
    BRIGID
    Yeah ’cause there’s only one that I felt close to at school, who actually knew who I was, so . . . I was gonna miss this one deadline so I called his office and . . . his assistant agreed to e-mail the rec letter directly to me . . .
    Brigid hands her iPhone to Erik, who reads the PDF of the letter on her phone.
    AIMEE
    What’s it say?
    BRIGID
    . . . at least now I know why I’m not even getting interviews for unpaid internships.
    ERIK
    Â Â Â Â Â  (Reading)
    What’s the big deal?—he didn’t praise you enough?
    Pissed, Brigid grabs her phone.
    BRIGID
    Are you kidding me?
    Â Â Â Â Â  (Reading)
    â€œBrigid is a talented musician and composer; she served as a TA in my music theory class her senior year and many of the students noted how approachable and helpful she was to them in navigating the course. Initially, I must confess, I found Brigid’s compositions almost willfully opposed to specificity and urgency. In her senior year, however, she showed marked improvement. And while her orchestral pieces still do not have the range or originality of her contemporaries, she always displays technical proficiency and great verve.” [What does that even mean?!] “Her hard work and positive attitude have made her an asset to the music department.”
    Â Â Â Â Â  (Eyes watering)
    . . . why wouldn’t he respect me enough to say he couldn’t do it?
    Richard comforts her.
    ERIK
    You can always work retail.
DEIRDRE
AIMEE
Don’t / tease her, babe—
Dad—Bridge, he’s a dick for writing this—
RICHARD
ERIK
It’s not easy to bounce back
. . . oh c’mon, hey, Rich don’t
from this kind of thing,
treat me like—she knows
Erik—
I believe in her!—are you so
 
spoiled you can’t see you’re
 
crying over something hard
 
work