Free I'm Not Julia Roberts by Laura Ruby Page A

you think?
    2good2BeBlue
    June 12, 1999
    Dear Mom and Dad:
    Please stop putting notes in my backpack. It freaks me out.
    Love, Devin
    June 10, 1999
    Beatrix:
    Waiting for something that will never come will only make you more insane than you already are.
    Ward
    June 8, 1999
    Ward:
    I’m still waiting for a check for $38.25 for your portion of the other bathing suit and the camp towels.
    Beatrix
    June 2, 1999
    Beatrix:
    Let me get this straight. Because some neighbor dog bit your cat’s tail, I have to buy you new towels? Are you crazy?
    Wait, don’t answer that.
    And as far as my not understanding how much it costs to raise a child, let me remind you that the boys live with me 170 days out of the year (26 weekends a year plus 104 week days plus 14 days of vacation). That’s only 25 days less than they live with you.
    Here’s a check for one of the bathing suits.
    Ward
    May 17, 1999
    Ward:
    I don’t think you appreciate the incidental costs involved with clothing, housing, and generally raising a child. (Remember, you’re not responsible for keeping the boys as many days as I am.) Just the other day, when Devin was supposed to be watching the neighbor’s dog, he accidentally let him into our house. That dog chased Little Bit all over the house and bit her on the tail. I had to rush her to the vet to get stitches, and it cost more than $200.
    I included the bathing suits and the towels on the camp list because Devin is required to wear blue bathing suits at camp (he told me you bought red and orange) and needs special towels to take back and forth. As you may not realize, wet towels crumpled up in a camp bag may get mildew, and I don’t think household towels are appropriate for this purpose. I’d appreciate a check for the remaining $68.24.
    Thanks,

Beatrix
    May 9, 1999
    Beatrix:
    Enclosed you will find a check for $558.96 (65% of $859.95). I just bought the kids a couple of bathing suits myself and am not required to pay for the suits that you chose to buy him to wear at your house. I have no idea why you’d include the purchase of two towels on this list.
    Ward
    May 3, 1999
    Ward:
    I signed Devin up for day camp and paid the following fees:
    Registration: $25.00
    8 weeks tuition: $800.00
    Uniform: $34.95
    Two bathing suits: $59.98
    Two large towels: $45.00
    Total: $964.93
    As per our agreement, your portion of this bill is $627.20 (65% of $964.93). I’d appreciate your paying this bill immediately; the last time you were late, and I had to pay interest charges on my Visa.
    Beatrix
    Posted on theothermother.com, April 14, 1999:
    Hi everyone:
    I’m not a stepmom or even close to it, but I am dating a man with three young sons. I have to say, you guys are scaring me! Some of you have all these horror stories! My boyfriend’s kids are always nice to me. Am I just lucky, or is this the calm before the storm?
    Lulu34
    February 18, 1999, Instant Messaging:
    BeaFREE40: So, did you guys do anything fun over the weekend?
    SuuuperDawg: We went to the park, but it was 2 cold, so we went home. And then we went to Lu’s party. She let us toast marshmellows in her fireplace.
    BeaFREE: MarshMALLOWS. With an “A.” And who the heck is LU?
    November 7, 1998
    Beatrix:
    I’ll be out of town from Monday to Wednesday. You can call my cell if there’s an emergency.
    Ward
    October 2, 1998
    Beatrix:
    I’ll be out of town this weekend, so I’ll be unable to watch the boys as you’d asked. I did call my mother and she said she’d be happy to baby-sit, if you have a need.
    Ward
    September 12, 1998
    Beatrix:
    I’ll be out of town for the next few days. In an emergency, I can be reached on my cell. You have the number.
    Ward
    August 15, 1998
    Beatrix:
    I’ll be out of town next week, so I was wondering if you were available to watch the boys Thursday and Friday. Please let me know.
    Ward
    June 7, 1998. Chat Room Transcript:
    BeaFREE40: He’s so jealous. You should see his face when he comes to get the boys. It’s sad, really,