Free Fat by Sara Wylde

.” I returned her hard appraisal. “And I don’t think it’s his job that you need to prove that you can handle. I think it’s me.”
    I couldn’t believe I’d said that. But I’d already jumped off the cliff, there was no climbing back up to the ledge.
    “I think you’re right. As long as you’re in the picture, no woman has a chance to really be with Kieran. You’re always there. Your friendship, your intimacies…no one can compete with that. He uses you like a shield so he can hide from any real connection.”
    I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Just a little bit. She sounded like a bad Cosmo article about unavailable men. “Really? So is this the part where you’re convinced that he loves you, but he’s just too broken to see it?” I shook my head. “You have to take him the way he is, the same as he has to take you. Don’t make excuses for what he does. The way you are together right now? That’s the best it’s ever going to be.”
    “You’re wrong. He’ll let me in when he sees he can trust me.”
    “Let you in? Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I hated it when people did that. They’d make every excuse in the world for why someone didn’t call, or they didn’t connect, or whatever. It had to be because “he’s emotionally unavailable.” It could never just be because the guy wasn’t interested. It was pathetic.
    “You know, you’re supposed to be his best friend and you act like you don’t know him at all.”
    My mouth opened before I could stop myself. “And you think just because he put his cock in your pussy that you know everything about him. Newsflash: that’s just fucking. He didn’t make love to you, you didn’t have some deeper connection. You asked for the Finn McCool experience, and you got it. That wasn’t Kieran. Breakfast the next day? That was Kieran. And you know what’s worse? You asked for it like a present. Like something you can buy. And guess what else? It was. Finn McCool is for sale, Kieran isn’t.”
    The look in her eyes as something cracked inside of her punched me in the gut. April was my friend. I wasn’t supposed to want to hurt her, and I did. I knew my barbs would hit home and I sharpened them anyway. I sliced and cut because I could. That wasn’t me. Or at least I didn’t want it to be.
    “I didn’t know any other way to get his attention,” she murmured. “He didn’t chase me like the other guys do.”
    I hugged her. “Look, you can fix this.”
    Why was I trying to help her now? I didn’t want to help her, I didn’t want them to be together.
    But I did want Kieran to be happy.
    My selfish heart said that I could make him happy, but I had to take my own advice. If a man wants you, he’ll find a way to tell you. And Kieran, in all the years we’d roomed together, had plenty of opportunity to tell me. It wasn’t me he’d taken to bed, it was April.
    “How?” she asked.
    “First, we’ll go tonight and we’ll sit in the back. He’ll know we’re there, but we’re not going to buy any dances or try to get his attention in any way. But you can’t buy any dances from any of the other guys either. Then you’ll tell him you need a ride back to the house because we’re going to leave your car here. We’ll take a cab.”
    “How are you going to get home?”
    “I’ll be fine. One of the guys can bring me home.” Probably Brant. Or maybe I’d just spend the night on the roof of The Rooster watching the stars and trying not to think about Kieran and April.
    She sucked in a deep breath. “I… thank you.” April hugged me. “I didn’t know I’d feel this way.”
    Yeah, me either. Instead of answering, I called a cab.
    When we got to the club, I put on my party face. I didn’t want anyone asking me what was wrong, so it was time to be that girl. The one who was always fun, who always had a slick remark, and who drank like a sailor.
    Liquor was the best lube for unwanted social interaction.
    We chose a table in the back as I’d