Free How to Write a Brilliant Romance: The Easy, Step-By-Step Method of Crafting a Powerful Romance (Go! Write Something Brilliant) by Susan May Warren

what, shoot and skin your own deer? With a . . . what’s that, an M- 16?” (She’s pointing out the absurdity of the situation, and really digging for info.)
    “AM4A1 carbine, sort of a mountain warfare rifle.” (He’s just about to reveal his identity--he so wants to be honest with her.)
    “Oh, right. My mistake. I have one of those in my car, because, you know, every good woodsman should have one. I think you’ve taken this search and rescue thing too far. This is not a top-secret special ops mission. What part of this says bad guys?” (She doesn’t want him interfering with her mission, and is now mad at his lies.)
    “Dani, please, trust me. You need to go home and let me find this girl.”
    (His emotional goals—for her to trust him, despite all evidence to the contrary.)
    “See these little white crosses? They mean we belong out here. Our job is to Search and Rescue. Do you, by any chance, see a difference between, say, my outfit . . . and yours?” (Dani, now independent and back into SAR mode.)
    “Okay, just yell at me when we get off the porch and back into the woods.” (Will, trying to keep her safe, and get them back on course.)
    “What’s going on, Will?” (Dani, nearly at ultimatum point.)
    “I dunno. But I do think that this girl is somewhere in one of these houses, and I can find her by myself.” (Will, being as honest as he can—in hopes of accomplishing all his goals, also a hint at the spiritual lies he’s been telling himself.)
    “You know, I truly believe that, somehow, deep in my heart. But just for kicks, why don’t we use the K-9 that we’ve spent a year training?” (Dani, again relying on her SAR skills.)
    “Dani, please, for the last time, you need to leave.” (Will, putting his primary goal on top.)
    “Give me one good reason. One.” (A final challenge for the truth.)
    “Promise to listen to me? And, to obey me if I tell you to do something?”
    (Will, his emotional needs leaking out.)
    “I know the words, ’you’re not the boss of me,’ sound slightly kindergartenish . . .but, you’re not the boss of me. C’mon Kirby.” (She’s finally mad and is not going to listen.)
    “You’re not going anywhere without me, Dani,” And I am the boss of you, starting right now.” (Will, realizing he can’t accomplish his emotional goals, and sacrificing them for the plot goal.)I love this scene because it’s a pretty unveiled scene, as far as emotions go, and I don’t pull the punches with Dani. I let all her anger show through. I hope you can hear Will pleading, and then his tight voice as he finally resigns himself to the inevitable. That’s a great way to add conflict to a scene: Don’t pull your punches. Let your characters say what they really mean. Letting your character off his leash will cause him to say all sorts of crazy things, and create sparks that build to an inferno.
    Andthat,ofcourseisthe Zingers intheSizzle.IcallthemFightingWords.

What areZingers?
    Interruptions:“Dani,it’s–okay—”“Whatpartofyouscaringmyskinoffisokay?”
    Name-calling:“And, why is that,Rambo?”
    Sarcasm:“Ihaveoneofthoseinmycar,because,youknow,everygoodwoodsman should have one .” Accusations:“Goodgrief,Will,whodoyouthinkyou’regoingtogetinafightwith,agreathorned owl?”
    ZingersorFightingWordsareanythingthatmakesthedialoguesoundreal(onlynotreal,aswe’ve pointedoutearlier).Thinkofthemasthethingsyourmothertoldyounottosayinanargument. Here’syouropportunitytosaythem!
    However:
    Avoid long narrations about information the readers already know.
    Avoid giving a history lesson. Let us infer it from the dialogue
    Here’sahelpfultechnique:Findthe“hook”orthezingerineverysentence,andhavethecharacters reacttothat.It’ssortoflikeasnowballpickinguppiecesofsnowasithurtlesdownthemountain.
    Examples:
    “Idon’tfeellikegoingtoschooltoday,”Sarahsaid,thecoverspulleduptoherchin.Inoticed, however,thathermascaradidn’tbearatalltheresemblanceofanovernightsmudge.
    “School?