Free The Private Affairs Of Lady Jane Fielding by Viveka Portman Page A

with Jacob who listened without comment. I could give Matthew what he needed to rejuvenate the London house. I realised then that I desperately wanted to as well.
    Whilst Matthew and Jacob spoke, I became lost in my thoughts. I knew that in sharing our marital bed with Matthew, we three could finally have what we wanted. Matthew could have Mansbury Terrace fixed, Jacob could have his son, and I…I would get to see both men happy, and finally be able to sate my wicked curiosity. Finally, as we sat in silence on the long carriage ride home, I realised something.
    I had made up my mind.

Chapter 8
    ‘Jacob,’ I said, as we descended the stairs for the evening meal.
    ‘Yes?’ He spoke softly.
    ‘I will do what you wish, and tonight if it pleases you.’ My heart lurched at my own words.
    ‘Darling, truly?’
    ‘Yes.’
    He took me in his arms and kissed me, fiercely. ‘What made you decide this?’
    ‘Today, being with you and Matthew. Speaking to him, speaking to you. We all need this, for Fielding, and Matthew’s future.’
    Jacob was silent. ‘This is not an easy thing for any of us; the mere thought of him touching you makes me…makes me feel slightly crazed, and yet we must.’
    ‘Tonight,’ I agreed, there would be no point in prolonging the awkwardness.
    ‘It may take more than one occasion.’ Jacob spoke softly, as though I needed to be told.
    I laughed. ‘It may, it may not, I shall leave it to God to decide which.’
    When we entered the dining room, Matthew was smoking a cigar and staring out the open window. He looked dashing by the candlelight.
    ‘Matthew,’ Jacob spoke. ‘Jane has agreed to, er…’ He fumbled over his words.
    In the candlelight, I saw Matthew’s face alternately pale then heat.
    ‘She has?’ He looked at me, surprised. ‘Are you certain, Jane? Is this what you want?’
    ‘We need an heir for Fielding, and you must be the one to provide it. I am certain.’
    He was silent, I had perhaps expected a cheer, but then, that would have been vulgar. Instead, Matthew inclined his head.
    ‘I shall continue to sleep in my sick rooms,’ Jacob said stiffly. ‘So you need not fear an intrusion.’
    ‘Good God,’ Matthew whispered under his breath.
    I found my face flaming with similar embarrassment.
    Jacob continued. ‘Still, I would have you know that although I do not find this easy, this is what I wished for, and I will not have you made uncomfortable.’
    ‘The whole jolly experience shall be uncomfortable,’ Matthew retorted, but his words did not ring quite true and as he spoke it seemed his eyes did not sway from Jacob. I waited to see what would happen next; was this some unsubtle male challenge? Did he expect Jacob to go back on the plan? I do not know. For a few moments, both he and Jacob had a long, unspoken conversation. Neither gaze demurred from the other.
    ‘Enough,’ I whispered, my voice unfairly hoarse. ‘Then let us not speak of it any more.’
    Jacob looked at me then inclined his head wordlessly. Hurt dwelt in the depth of the blue, but he walked over and squeezed my hand before sinking down onto his chair.
    Dinner was a bumbling affair, there was some talk of the Stantons’ party and the Bexleys’ sudden departure, but all conversation was stilted.
    My husband did his best however. ‘A lovely couple, I thought, though I was surprised by the speed of their departure,’ Jacob replied. ‘Bexley needs a young woman to enliven him, mayhap he…’ He faded off, realising that discussion on that topic was deeply inappropriate at this time.
    ‘I found myself under observation repeatedly by Mrs Swinton,’ Matthew commented, and sipped from his wine glass. ‘Why, I daresay she was almost bold in her favours.’
    ‘She is quite exceptional,’ I agreed, ‘she staggers me with her wit and occasional vulgarity, though I adore it as much as I loathe being the recipient of it.’
    Everyone laughed then, though the tension penetrated the humour.
    And so the