Free I Still Love You by Jane Lark

just generally weren’t the right guys.
    I’d never even liked Declan. And the feeling had been mutual. But we’d connected in bed. He liked things wild, and wild played to my crazy. God, had I really done that stuff with him? I needed something better now.
    I opened my eyes and watched Jason Macinlay concentrating. He wound the bandage round and round, pulling it tight to stop the blood; watching what he was doing, not watching me.
    I felt hot, and the tingle in my tummy slid to the point between my legs. I was sitting naked in a tub beside this guy. When had I decided to undress? I didn’t know him. Really, my head was stupid.
    Yes I did, he was Jason Macinlay, from Oregon, and he’d already given me more respect than Declan had done in the last year.
    “How old are you?” I asked.
    His brown eyes lifted and met my gaze again.
    He was feeling more relaxed, I could tell, his breathing seemed more normal and his muscles less tense.
    “Twenty-two. You?”
    “Twenty-one.”
    “That’s too young to want to end your life, Rachel Shears.”
    I shrugged, my lips compressing.
    Of course he wanted to know why I’d been there, but I didn’t want to talk and I couldn’t remember half of it anyway. His eyes said, ‘what happened?’ I didn’t answer.
    He smiled, not his stunning smile of a few moments ago, but a closed lip smile that said, okay, so you don’t wanna talk, I understand.
    No one understood me. I’d learned that the hard way.
    Mom would’ve said she did, when I was a kid. She didn’t, and I hadn’t even seen her in years. I didn’t even know why I was thinking of her today. I hadn’t thought of her in months. I hadn’t spoken to her since I was fifteen.
    Maybe I was thinking of her because I wished she’d been a proper mom and had taught me how to clean a wound like Jason Macinlay.
    “Drink your coffee, and don’t get that in the water.” He stood up, letting my hand go.
    I reached for the mug of coffee with my good hand. It was already lukewarm, like the water. I started to feel cold again, and shivered.
    “Run some more hot water. I’ll leave you to it.”
    He walked out then, and left me, shutting the door behind him.
    I used my bandaged hand to turn the water on.
    The bandage was neat and tight.
    I lay back in the water, and let the heat seep into me. But it wasn’t just the warmth of the water which was penetrating my body. I could fall for this guy, Jason Macinlay. That was another thing I was good at, jumping from one guy to another. It was what I did best.
    ~
    “Hey,”
    “Yeah, I know it’s late. I’m sorry, I…”
    I woke in bed, hearing Jason Macinlay whispering in the room next door.
    He’d changed the covers on the mattress while I’d bathed. The sheet and duvet cover smelt fresh and felt crisp.
    I’d rather he’d left the old sheets on, it would have felt more comforting. I’d missed his scent from his sweatshirt. He’d thrown that in the washer, too, like I’d marked it and he needed to wash me off it.
    Declan must have washed all the blood off by now, mine and his. I was gone from his life. That poisonous relationship was over.
    “Something happened, Lindy. I couldn’t call earlier. But I’m calling now.”
    The door was shut between the bedroom and the living space.
    “Yeah, I know.”
    I rolled over and listened more intently, I could even hear him breathing between the words.
    He sounded defensive.
    “Look…” The pitch of his voice dropped. “I found a girl on Manhattan Bridge, Lind. She was trying to jump. I couldn’t just leave her.”
    There was silence for a moment as he breathed. I imagined this Lindy speaking at the other end.
    “I brought her home.”
    Silence.
    “Yeah, well, I didn’t know what else to do.”
    “Lindy, leave it, she’s no risk.”
    “I’ll be fine.”
    “Yeah, honest, I’ll take care. I can look out for myself.”
    “I know this is New York.”
    “Yeah, right.”
    “Look, I’m going to go. I don’t want to wake