Free I Still Love You by Jane Lark Page A

her.”
    “She’s sleeping in my bed. I’m sleeping on the floor.”
    “She won’t.”
    “I won’t.”
    “Look Lindy, I’ll call you tomorrow, normal time. I’m going to go now, and don’t worry.”
    “Yeah, I love you, too.”
    “Yeah, tomorrow.” He sighed, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
    I needed a drink. I threw the covers back and got up, then knocked on the door leading back into the living space.
    He didn’t answer; he couldn’t have heard, but I didn’t like to just walk in. I knocked more loudly.
    “Yeah?”
    “You decent?”
    He laughed. It was low and heavy. “Yeah.”
    I opened the door.
    He was sitting on the floor, gilded by the moonlight streaming through a floor to ceiling window which lit his living room. His arms were about his knees as one hand still gripped his cell and his head was bent a little forward.
    He looked defeated.
    “Sorry.” I didn’t even know why I apologized, I just felt as if I was intruding.
    “It’s alright. Did I wake you? Sorry.”
    “I want some water.” I moved to the kitchen counter and watched him as I ran it, waiting for it to run cool. He was wearing a loose t-shirt now, with boxers. His forearms and his shins were dusted with dark hair. I could see it even in the blue-black light in the room.
    The clock on the TV flashed eleven-thirty. I didn’t feel as though I’d get back to sleep, and my hand was hurting like hell now; it was throbbing with the beat of my heart.
    “Is she your girlfriend?”
    “Lindy? Yeah.”
    “She’s back in Oregon?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Bet she feels small town, now you’ve gone all big city.”
    “Ha. Ha.” His pitch was dismissive. Life clearly wasn’t all roses between them.
    “I suppose you’ve been with her forever. What was she, the head of the cheerleaders while you captained the football team?”
    “You think you know me so well, don’t you…”
    He
had
been captain of the football team.
    I bet they were best looking girl and best looking boy in their year, and they’d gotten together because it was what everyone expected.
    “I was the kid who sat in the corner and never had friends…” I didn’t know why I told him that, I just thought it might make him feel better.
    “And now?”
    My lips compressed.
    Turning away, I opened a cupboard and found a glass. “Do you want a drink?”
    “No thanks.”
    I filled the glass and drank, as again the images of the mirror breaking disturbed my thoughts.
    I pushed the memory away. I was starting over and forgetting that.
    I moved about the counter, and leaned back against it, facing him. “So what’s wrong between you?”
    “Tonight? You. She thinks you’re going to either jump me in my sleep, or steal all my stuff, like I have anything worth stealing.” His hand lifted and swept forward indicating the virtually empty room.
    “She might be right, though?” I did feel like jumping him in his sleep. It would be a great way to escape the blackness which kept threatening to swamp me.
    His gaze focused up at me as he scanned my face. “She could be right, yes…”
    Well, he didn’t know me, and I’d said nothing about myself, bar my name and my age. “She isn’t. You’re safe.”
    “Phew, thank fuck for that.”
    I laughed. He was a nice guy. There weren’t many of those in the world. I wasn’t used to them.
    My eyes shifted to the white pillow on the hard floor behind him. Then I looked at him again.
    “So anyway, seeing as I’ve promised not to jump you in your sleep, why don’t you share the mattress? If you’re safe, it seems silly you trying to sleep out here.” I’d be good. He deserved for me to be good. He’d been kind to me.
    He looked at me for a long moment. I didn’t move, holding out against his assessment.
    I wasn’t blind. I knew he liked what he saw. I was wearing his t-shirt, my legs were bare, and I’d nothing on underneath. It would be so easy to be bad. His gaze ran up my legs and my body then came