me, giggling.
“No, I’m just a girl with way too much spare time and parents who feel guilty about not being around,” She kept her voice light, but I caught the underlying sadness that hid there. The few times she’d opened up about her family I got the feeling things were tense.
“Thanks for this, Gem. You’re a good friend,” I reached for the clothes in her arms and began sorting them into yes and no piles. She looked surprised, as if my acknowledgement of her friendship had meant a lot to her.
“Anytime, Lily,” She smiled. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached for it, juggling the dress and my bag. It was from Dane, “Dane?” Asked Gem. I glanced at her, surprised, “Your face just broke into this big grin,” She laughed. I blushed, embarrassed my feelings were so obvious.
“I can’t wait to see you later, Lil,” I read aloud. Gem giggled, practically hanging off my arm, at which I couldn’t help but laugh too. “God Gem, he is…I don’t even know,” I said, lost for words.
“I’m really happy for you, Lil. I’m glad he’s gotten past whatever last year was too,” Her eyes lit up as I held a blue/green silk slip dress against my body, “Yes! Try it on!” She demanded, pushing me into the change rooms. I laughed, not needing much encouragement. Without even trying it on, I knew the dress was perfect.
As I changed into the dress, I thought about what Gem had said. Did it worry me that Dane had closed off when I mentioned last year? Yes, though I was still more than willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Some things are just hard to talk about, and I respected that.
I admired myself in the mirror, before opening the door to show Gem. Judging by her screams of delight, we had a winner. The dress was stunning, but at close to a month’s rent it was way more than I could afford. Swallowing hard, I reached into my purse for the emergency credit card mom had given me.
If this wasn’t an emergency, I didn’t know what was.
“So why did you move here? You lived pretty far away right? Were there closer colleges you applied for?”
Gem’s question caught me off guard as I stirred my latte. Shopping was hard work, and required regular replenishment. This was our second refreshment stop in under an hour; the first had come after I couldn’t pass up the aroma of some freshly made pretzels.
“Do you get along with your family?” She asked, licking the froth of her spoon.
“I get along so well with my family, it’s not even funny,” I thought of Anna and mom back home. Imagining home made me think of Abby, one of the biggest factors behind my decision to move. I needed to create my own memories.
“Last year, my twin died. She had cancer. After dealing with that, I just needed to get away from everything that reminded me of her. Start afresh.”
“Oh Lily-”
“Don’t apologize,” I cut in, smiling at her, “Please. Everyone feels so sorry for me, but the truth is, I had the most amazing, loving sister for nearly eighteen years, and for that I’m truly lucky.” Gem looked at me, speechless for the first time since I’d met her. “After two years of Abby’s illness, then struggling to cope with her being gone, I needed this. Time for myself, if that makes sense.”
I didn’t add the time spent in Baskenville Psych facility, or that Abby still visited me almost every night. I learned the hard way to keep things like that to myself.
I knew there was probably some kind of reasonable scientific explanation as to why I was seeing and hearing Abby as though she were still alive well after her death, but I hadn’t cared. It comforted me. People didn’t understand how hard it had been for me, coping with her death.
The worst thing about her illness, apart from the obvious, was seeing my sister fade away before my eyes. Looking at Abby was like looking into a mirror, identical in every way, from our long blonde tresses, right down to our emerald green eyes and