Free Playing Fate (Endgame Series Book 1) by Leigh Ann Lunsford

fine.”
    He shakes his head, “Come on, Saylor. We have a reservation, and I’m hungry.” I roll my eyes and allow his hand at my back to lead me into the high-rolling steakhouse. Once we’re seated, he jump-starts the conversation. “I know your major is marketing but why?”
    “Not a lot of risk. You sell someone else’s product. They succeed, you succeed. They fail, you find another product.”
    “Is that what you’ve always dreamed of doing?”
    “I didn’t plan a dream career or decide a major for any other reason than being able to take care of myself.”
    “That’s sad.”
    “It’s realistic. Why didn’t you go into the majors? Your parents would have helped with Julie.”
    “True, but I’d more than likely have been picked up by a minor or farm team and had to work my way up. I played like shit last year, and you don’t normally just go to the majors. You work up.” He sips his water. “I didn’t want my parents raising Julie. This is their time to enjoy. My dad can retire at any time, and I want them to travel. They were pretty disappointed in the circumstances, but they’re proud of the decisions I’ve made.”
    “But you didn’t give up baseball all together?”
    “No, but it doesn’t mean the same to me. I love it, but I hate leaving Julie with the sitter or my parents. I don’t think I could give it up, and that scares me. I’m supposed to be selfless. Parent first.”
    “You are, Deacon. To be a good parent you have to have part of yourself intact. I love that you put her first, think of her life, but if you aren’t happy she’ll sense that as she gets older. Believe me, that hurts more than missing you for a few hours.”
    “Experience?”
    “Maybe. That subject’s off-limits.” I feel myself closing down.
    “Soon nothing will be off-limits. Your dreams will be mine. Your goals—I’ll help you achieve them. You’ll see.”
    I want to run.
    Outside.
    Home.
    To his arms.
    All conflicting. None seem like the right choice.

 
     
    I watch every emotion shut off. It didn’t come gradually; it was like slamming a door, ending all progression we’d made. I don’t regret it. I’ll tell her every day. I’ll break through. I don’t know what it is—just a feeling of completeness I get when she’s near. I meant what I said in regards to giving up baseball. If she was by my side, I wouldn’t dream of giving it up. After three years, I’d pack her and Julie up and take them with me. Whichever team chose me to play, I know I’d be able to make a home with her. She’s the reason I think that way.
    She admitted she has daddy issues, now I need to find the root of her problem. Her reaching back to stroke Julie’s head like it was second nature caused a visceral reaction in me. My heart sped up, and I wanted to haul her out of the car and take her right there in my parents’ driveway. The intense need to possess her, own her, fucking stake my claim. She has me messed up and out of control. I don’t know which way is up or down, if I’m coming or going. Her defiance makes me want to fuck it out of her yet revel in the spunk. I swipe my hand down my face and exhale my frustrations.
    She fights everything.
    The connection we share.
    The heat between us.
    The way we work after such a short time.
    I’m not asking her to move in or marry me. I’m asking for a chance. She can’t give me that if she keeps closing down. I’ve opened up the most important part of my life to her . . .
    “I wanted to apologize for last night.” I don’t regret a single moment of it, but I hate that I may have taken advantage of her. I didn’t slow down long enough to hear what Alec had done to her, and if Mason and Caden hadn’t calmed me down and gotten the information I needed, I may have been eating dinner in a prison. Our steaks arrive, and her eyes widen as she licks her lips.
    “I didn’t order this.”
    “I did. You said you like steak . . . this is the best steak you’ll ever