Free Just for Now by Rosalind James

am. I’m living there. That’s my life
right now, taking care of them.”
    “But it isn’t your life. Not really,” Natalie said bluntly.
“It’s a job. They’re not your family. You do realize that, don’t you? D’you
think it’s a good idea to get so attached?”
    “You can’t help but get attached. You know that. It seems
like you get one or two kids every year who are special, who worm their way
into that spot in your heart.”
    “Yeh, but you don’t adopt them. And you don’t go live with
them—or their fit All Black dads either.”
    “What, Finn? Come on. I’m smarter than that.”
    “Yeh, right. Why are we shopping today, again?”
    “Because I need new clothes for volunteering. I told you.”
    “Uh-huh. Then why did you just buy three pairs of jeans that
make your bum look good, instead of those Mum jeans you were wearing? And why
have you suddenly decided to stop hiding your tits? Mind you, I’m not saying
that’s a bad thing. If mine looked like that, I’d be showing them off left, right,
and center.”
    “You’re awful,” Jenna laughed. “Yeah, OK, I realized I was
wearing my clothes too big. All my clothes. I’m not overweight any more,
and I should be enjoying that. I’ve worked hard enough for it.”
    “Yeh, you have. But, I forget now, who pointed that out to
you?”
    “You, for one. I know you said something like that, the
first week I was here.”
    “And it made such an impact that you bought, let’s see, no new clothes in response. But Finn Douglas tells you you’re hot, and suddenly
you’re out with me, buying a new wardrobe.”
    “He didn’t say I was hot,” Jenna protested.
    “Yeh, he did,” Natalie said positively. “Told you your cossie
was too sexy, right?”
    “Just because he was concerned about, you know, my image or
something. Out with his kids.”
    “Nah. Because he liked what he saw. And that made him
uncomfortable.”
    “Even if he does think I look . . . nice,” Jenna said, “it doesn’t
mean he has a thing for me. You didn’t see his girlfriend. I don’t even come
close.”
    “I could debate that too. Anyway, he’s a sportsman. I think
we can take it as read that he has a thing for you. I’m not concerned about
that. I’m worried about how much of a thing you have for him. He’s
not your man, and they aren’t your kids.” Natalie was serious again now. “I
have a feeling that you wish they were. And I’m worried that you won’t be
guarding your heart.”
    Jenna stopped walking and turned to look at her friend. “Nat.
I told you. I’m smarter than that. I know who and what I am. And that it isn’t
what Finn’s looking for. I like him. I like him a lot. He’s a really decent
guy, and a good dad. And yes, I like how he looks. How big and strong he is.”
    “But you don’t fancy him,” Natalie said dubiously.
    “Come on. I can appreciate him— and how he
looks—without climbing into bed with him. You think he’s hot too. Admit it.”
    “Oh, I admit it. I’d be all over that, given the chance. You
can invite me to come by anytime, not that I think you will. He may not be a
looker, but he’s got that craggy, manly thing going on. Great physique. But it’s
dangerous, living with someone you fancy. I’m not so worried about you jumping
him. I don’t really see that happening. What about when he makes a move on you,
though? What are you going to do then? Tell him you’re not that kind of girl? I
reckon it’s going to be more like, ‘Kiss me again, big boy.’”  
    “Let’s hope my strength of character isn’t put to the test,”
Jenna said ruefully. “I’m afraid you could be right. If that happened. But
I don’t think it would. Because Finn’s realistic too. He needs me too much. As
a nanny,” she clarified hastily. “And he’s not short of girlfriend options, I’m
sure.”
    “But he isn’t dating anyone now, is he?” Natalie asked.
    “It’s only been a couple weeks since he broke up with