respect her need to let this be forgotten.
We walk the ten minutes back to the bus in silence. I need to work on some lyrics or something. I need a distraction. This whole situation is a fucked-up mess.
When we get back on the bus, Lily and the guys are already lounging around. We’re supposed to be pulling off in the next hour to head toward our next tour stop. We would have left last night, but the other band needed to get some things done here in Los Angeles before we left. Their bus will be following behind ours for the remainder of the time. Xander seizes the moment Lourdes gets on the bus to let her have it. He’s yelling how irresponsible she was last night and that he didn’t invite her on this tour to play babysitter. The jackass is so full of his own anger that he hasn’t noticed the fragile state she is already in. A few sniffles come from her and he goes quiet. She then starts sobbing uncontrollably, just standing in the middle of the room.
“Oh my God, Lourdes. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he apologizes. I put my hand up then I put my arm around her and lead her to the bedroom. I’m so mad at his unobservant ass that I don’t give a shit what he thinks about me comforting her. I bring her into the room and put the lock on the door.
“I’ll be okay,” she tries.
“I know. I’m not going anywhere so it’s just me and you.” I crawl into bed and pull her in with me. We’ll figure this shit out later, but for right now we have each other. This room is our bubble. We don’t have to deal with the reality in here. In here, it’s just us.
“Okay,” she agrees. She snuggles against me—her back to my front and we give each other comfort. It’s not long before sleep finds us both.
I don’t know how much time passes. I wake up in Diesel’s embrace and the bus is now moving. I’m ashamed to say I had a relapse today. I wanted Diesel to take me in that shower, but his words crushed me. He was okay with just fucking me—just like he fucked her. That’s all I’ve come to mean to him. No matter how much I tell myself that I’m done with him and that I don’t care what he does, I know that I’m just lying to myself. He’s still passed out, but I’m content to lay here. I’m not ready for us to leave our bubble. He mumbled about this room being our bubble as he drifted off to sleep. If this is all I can have with him, maybe that is okay.
I feel myself dozing back off to sleep, when there is a steady knock at the door.
“Why is this door locked?” I hear Xander question from the other side. “Diesel, open the door, man. Ivy’s here for you.” The bus must have stopped at some point during our nap. I cringe at the thought of her being here to see him. She’s bringing reality to our fucking door—literally! Diesel sits up startled at the intrusion.
“Ivy is out there for you,” I whisper. I’m afraid that any more words than that will get stuck in my throat. I attempt to get out of the way so that he can go to her, but he pulls me back down and kisses my forehead.
“Stay here,” he insists. I’m not going to hide in here if that’s what he’s thinking.
Before I can object, he puts a finger to my lips to shush me. “Please. Okay?”
He gets up and opens the door and I can see Ivy and Xander standing on the other side. He walks out and closes the door behind him. I hadn’t agreed to stay put, but when I hear arguing coming from outside the door, I decide not to move. Diesel is arguing with Xander. “I’m not fucking her, man,” I hear Diesel growl. He tells him that I’m not feeling well and that I already feel bad enough about last night so there’s no need to keep chastising me like a child.
“Don’t get any ideas about my sister. Sorry, Ivy. But you fucked this girl last night and then you’re locked in a room with my sister today?” Xander’s tone has come down an octave, but is still stern. “Excuse me if I come off a