Free Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy) by K.L. Shandwick

was feeling angry with him. “Lily, can I say this? When I saw you, I had to have you. I really didn’t think beyond that. All reasoning went out of the window with you, and that has never happened to me before.”
    “So what does that mean?  Why are you continuing to chase me around when you don’t want a relationship? Do you know what it’s like to be me? To know you have that kind of power over me?” He grasped my hand and laced his fingers in mine.
    “I really, really want to spend time with you, Lily. I really want you. God … I want you so much, it’s like I need you to breathe sometimes.” He looked uncomfortable confessing this to me.
    “Do you know what it feels like for me, to see you right now, and not pull you close to me, hold you tight, bury my face in your neck , and smell your amazing skin?”
    My eyes bored holes into him . “Yes, Alfie, I do know, I feel that way every time I see you. The difference between us is that I won’t use you for your body. I won’t take what you offer. I need it all. I can’t allow myself your body if your mind isn’t connecting with mine.
    “You want a relationship, Lily? I’ll give you one, be your boyfriend, but you need to know that nothing will come of it, I can’t commit to loving you above all else.”
    Alfie leaned forward, the table wobbling under the weight of his elbow as the table leg balanced against the uneven flagstone floor. His eyes showed a bit more fight in them now.
    “What I can offer you is my time, when I can, above anything outside of my work. That’s the most I am able to give right now. ”
    He stared seriously at me, his eyes showing concern. “If I hadn’t been honest with you from the start, what is there to say that we wouldn’t have been together all this time? I could have kept things close to my chest. I need you, Lily, I miss you. I didn’t expect to feel so drawn to you. I can’t function without seeing you.”
    I knew that I was struggling.  All the while he was talking, I was drinking in his appearance, imagining what his touch felt like, wanting to touch him.  How it would feel to be in his arms again.
    I was remembering how gentle he could be with me.  I missed him and wanted nothing more than to curl up on his lap and get lost in his mouth.  My gaze centred on it, and he licked his lips.
    “Do you mind if I fill up?”  he asked, tapping the side of his glass with the silver ring on his thumb.  I shook my head.  He put his hand between his knees and pulled the small stool away between his legs as he stood up.
    I watched as he walked to the bar, and felt slightly shaky at the effect he still had on me.  Just seeing his smooth movements and that damned sexy walk of his made me weak at the knees.  His ass was just so perfect in his low rise dark blue jeans.
    The studded belt, although kind of cliché on a rock star, still managed to make me want to whip it through the belt loops and toss it aside on the way to pee ling those jeans down his legs.
    I smiled and realized that even though we were here, and I was hearing him give me some less than happy, honest truths, I was still fantasizing about getting him naked.
    “Hey, have I ever told you how beautiful your smile is?” I realized that he had been watching me from the bar and had made his way back.  Yet, I was too busy, lost in my daydream to notice.
    “Do we have to name it?” I found myself saying.
    Alfie’s brows furrowed. “Name it?”  My eyes rolled up as I thought about what I was about to say and mentally chastised myself before the words were even out.
    “This… thing.” I wagged my finger between the two of us. “I’m not sure what I’m saying.”
    He moved closer, sitting on the stool next to me. His hand swept past my face and gripped my hair lightly at the nape of my neck, as his eyes grew hooded and intense as they stared into mine.
    “Try! Tell me what you want to say.” He held my gaze, and the touch of his hand on my neck sent