Free Sex, Lies & Nikolai by R.J. Lewis

from him . Why is he so confident I’ll be back in his store again?
    “You made it clear you won’t give me a loan,” I say, perplexedly.
    He nods, agreeing. “That’s right.”
    I stand up straighter and steadfastly reply, “Then I don’t want anything from you.” Not your lips, nor your pennies.
    He takes a step back and throws his shades back on. With a hidden smile, he says, “Maybe you will.”
    I won’t. I have no intention of ever returning there. I already feel humiliated all over again for kissing him for money. I think he catches my train of thought because of the way my eyes flicker to his lips. I look away when he notices, hating the aura of intimidation he possesses. It’s almost ridiculous. I wouldn’t have believed such a thing existed had I never met him.
    “Tell Ivan I want to talk to him,” he tells me. “And tell Benji in the back room to grow some balls before he runs from me again.”
    I don’t respond. I look anywhere but at him, waiting for his departure. I’m eager for him to be gone – this shop is too suffocating when he’s in it.
    He’s quiet for a moment, and then he softly adds, “You look beautiful today.”
    My skin heats even more and my lips part as my eyes connect with his. They’re so fiery blue and tender looking. Why couldn’t I have had this face to look into last night?
    “Thank you,” I say, and it feels strange to thank a man for complimenting me. I’m certain it’s never happened this way.
    His smile is soft when he adds, “Do svidanya, rybka.”
    With that he turns and walks out. Of course I watch him. I am absolutely entranced by his movements, by his intimidating demeanour, by his sharp face and strong tatted hands.
    It’s purely chemical, I know that, but Nikolai drives me needy in a way I have never felt before. The kiss only makes it more acute, like the need is tangible somehow. I don’t like it at all, but then I do. It’s confusing just as it is infuriating.
    Benji comes out seconds later, staring in the same direction as me, appearing baffled. “What was that all about?” he asks, and he sounds more accusatory than curious.
    I shrug, concealing my face from him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
    “You went to his shop. I heard him. What were you doing there?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Asking for money?”
    “Nothing, Benji.” I say it more edgily.
    He sighs, letting off a string of curses in Russian. “Stay away from Nikolai Sokolov, Alina. He is a fucking madman. His family is all mafia, lapochka. Why do you think I’m hiding? I can’t face him. He’ll either bury me or beat me with his fists. You know they say he’s made of steel, don’t you? There are scars under this tattoos, and you know what they stand for? Death, Alina. Death . Stay away, huh?”
    I don’t respond, not even to assure him that I have no intentions of going near Nikolai.
    Truth is, I know all those things about Nikolai are true. He’s got this look on his face, the kind you know has seen things and done things. My instincts tell me to stay far away from him and I intend to, but still. He thrills me, no matter how wrong it is to like that. I haven’t pinpointed the reason behind it, either. Aren’t you supposed to get to know a man before you want to be owned by him? If that’s the case, it’s not working for me. It’s not even been a couple dozen hours since he ravaged me with his lips and I’ve already been brain fucked by him in every position possible.
    “If you’re desperate for money, go to Natasha,” Benji continues.
    “And wind up in jail?” I retort, tearing my eyes away from the entrance door.
    “Franko takes care of her. She doesn’t fuck the men, either. Girl is clean.”
    There’s no way I’m going to Natasha. I can’t even believe we’re talking about this right now. “I’m not going to her.”
    “I thought you two were close.”
    We were very close. The closest friends possible. But then Scarlett came into this world and I had