Free Love's Fate (Love Trilogy #1) by Tracey Smith Page B

my face to the side as I hugged him. I could feel his shoulders slump slightly from the disappointment.
    “I missed you.” He whispered into my ear.
    “Um, yeah, it has been a while hasn’t it.” I pulled away from the intimate embrace and tried to smile casually.
    I didn’t want to be mean, but I didn’t want to lead him on either. I hadn’t missed him, at least not any more than I had missed Dan. I actually had only really missed Amy. I looked for her now and found her and Dan making out in the corner.
    Christy and Kevin were sitting silently on the couch, both looking a little uncomfortable now. Jared was looking dejected, waiting for some response from me that I couldn’t give.
    “Who’s hungry?” I asked trying to shift everyone’s attention.
    It worked and everyone eagerly followed me to the dining room. We ate and shared stories about how we’d spent our summers. I didn’t really have much to tell about mine, but Amy had a million stories to make up for it. Jared told us about how he was working for his father now, and how he planned to be a junior partner by next year. When he spoke he looked only at me.
    “I think we’re going to take off.” Christy said as soon as we’d finished eating.
    “But we haven’t had dessert yet” I protested, “That’s the best part!”
    She looked nervously over at Kevin, who still didn’t look completely relaxed and I understood.
    “I’ve got a really early morning” she started to explain.
    “Ok, maybe next time” I told her smiling.
    She seemed relieved and after a quick goodbye with Amy she and Kevin left.
    “What’s for dessert?” Dan asked as soon as they were out the door.
    “Saved the best for last!” I winked as I went into the kitchen to bring out the chocolate soufflés.
    Everyone raved over how fantastic they were and it felt so nice to have my friends around me again. Just like it used to be.
    However, as soon as we finished with dessert Amy offered to give Dan a “grand tour” of the apartment that started and ended with her bedroom, leaving Jared and me alone.
    Jared helped me clear the table and wash the dishes. We worked quietly side by side in the kitchen. The casual atmosphere had lifted and I felt nervous again.
    “I really meant it when I said I missed you” he finally broke the silence.
    I wished he hadn’t, I wasn’t sure how to respond. I decided it was time for the awkward conversation I’d been avoiding.
    “Jared” I started, but he interrupted me
    “There’s something I have to tell you, and I need to just say it.” He took a deep breath and then looked at me with determination.
    “I love you Katherine.” He finally blurted out.
    I just stared at him dumbfounded.
    “I’ve been thinking about you all summer and it made me realize how much I care about you” he continued “I know it’s not as easy for you, but I can be patient. I’ll give you all the time you need. Just give me a chance.”
    He looked at me pleadingly and I knew it was my turn to speak.
    “I don’t know, Jared. I’m not really sure if I want to be with anybody right now”
    It was the best excuse I could come up with. I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t love him the way he wanted me to. That I had tried before and I knew it just wasn’t there. I was trying to find the best way to explain that to him, but before I could say anything else he was kissing me.
    At first I was too surprised to do anything but stand there. Then I decided to kiss him back. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel his lips pressed against mine, to feel his strong arms pulling my body tightly against his. I wanted to feel something for him. I tried. But there was nothing there so I pulled away.
    “I just can’t” was all I could say before I was choked by tears, and I ran for the door.
    I went straight to the beach. Fate was so cruel! I couldn’t have the man I longed for and I couldn’t love the man who longed for me. What was wrong with me? I