Free Agatha Raisin: Hiss and Hers by MC Beaton

achieved her aim.
    She had just let herself into her cottage when her phone rang. It was Simon.
    â€˜How long do I have to go on with this?’ he asked plaintively.
    Agatha had been so busy startling the villagers by saying the murderer was one of them that she had almost forgotten about Fiona Morton.
    â€˜Why? Nothing useful?’
    â€˜No, and she seems to be transferring her obsession for George to me. I took her to that posh restaurant. All nouvelle cuisine. I tell you, I could have put the pudding in my eye and used it as a monocle, it was so small. Fiona tried to get me to come into her cottage for a nightcap. I said I was tired. She demanded a good-night kiss. You’d never think a woman with such a small mouth would have such a large tongue. Yuk!’
    â€˜How’s Toni getting on?’
    â€˜I managed to meet up with her to compare notes. All she’s found out is that our Fiona is considered a bit of a nutcase. But one good bit of info. George was supposed to have been murdered at least twenty-four hours before the ball. Right?’
    â€˜So the police say.’
    â€˜Well, Fiona was on the committee of the local fête and she was working on the arrangements the day before and on the day of the murder. Her car never left the village.’
    Agatha sighed. ‘You’d better both get out of there. Is Toni sure there is no way she could have sneaked off?’
    â€˜Quite sure.’
    â€˜You’d better both get out of there,’ she repeated.
    â€˜Toni will be glad to go. The landlord’s been paying her off the books, so she didn’t need to give her correct name. Also, she said the vet, Summers, has taken to dropping in and keeps saying he’s sure he’s seen her somewhere before. Her photo has been in the newspapers in the past.’
    â€˜Pack up and leave this evening,’ said Agatha. ‘What about George romancing any other women in that village?’
    â€˜It seems to have been wishful thinking. Can you imagine such stupidity?’
    â€˜Goodbye,’ said Agatha abruptly.
    Simon heaved a sigh of relief as he rang off. He pulled his suitcase out from under the bed and began to pack. When he was finished packing, he looked down from his window and drew back quickly. Fiona was standing in the street, looking up at his window.
    Simon retreated from the window and switched off the light. He sat on the bed and waited for half an hour before cautiously looking out again. Fiona had gone.
    He telephoned Toni on her mobile and asked her how quickly she could leave. ‘When are you going?’ Toni asked.
    â€˜As soon as possible,’ said Simon. ‘That Fiona is beginning to terrify me.’
    â€˜I just have a backpack. I can drop it out of the window and then climb down after it. My car’s in the car park, but the ground is on a slope, so I can let out the brake and cruise quietly on to the road. See you in the office tomorrow.’
    â€˜Wait a bit,’ protested Simon. ‘Don’t you think we deserve a day off? We could go somewhere nice.’
    â€˜No. See you at work.’
    * * *
    Agatha slept well that night, feeling that she had scotched all the animosity towards her. But she awoke the next morning feeling heavy and sweaty. She looked out of the window. The sky was the colour of pewter. Not a leaf moved in the garden. The air was sticky and close. She showered and put on a cotton blouse and a cotton skirt with an elasticated waist. Just for one day, she thought, I do not want to be reminded about my waistline every time I eat.
    After her usual breakfast of two cups of black coffee and two cigarettes, she unlocked her front door, ready to go to the office. There was a parcel on her doorstep. It was a plain brown paper parcel with her name printed on it in block capitals. She stared down at it. Then she went back indoors and phoned the police.
    Bill Wong and Alice Peterson arrived three-quarters of an hour later. They