think for a second. ‘Yes, yes I was.’
‘By Williams?’
She nods again and drops her eyes with a look of complete sadness that even in my state I’m pretty sure is contrived to fuck.
I lean in close, so my face is but inches from hers. She looks up with a mixture of being startled and waiting expectantly as though I’m about to try and kiss her. ‘De Smet,’ I whisper quietly and probably quite drunkenly, ‘died a very painful death,’ I edge closer so I can keep my voice as low as possible, she doesn't flinch or make any effort to move away. ‘Choking isn’t like the movies. It takes minutes and the person fights like a bastard. He pulled his gun and shot bullets into the air. He was panicking, fighting for breath…’ her eyes flicker between my mouth speaking the words and my eyes revealing the emotions, ‘when he passed out I released and let him breath for a few seconds.’
‘What then?’ she whispers so intensely and I can’t help but see the first flush spread across the base of her throat.
‘Then,’ I lean in closer. She nods, urging me to keep going, ‘then I slowly poured the bleach into his mouth. Blisters were forming within seconds, melting the skin from his tongue and he woke up screaming in agony.’ I want to puke, to vomit and cry. I feel tears burning the back of my eyes and I grip my glass so hard I fear it will break but she watches and licks her lips with a hunger for more. I swallow and stare deep into those perfect blue eyes.
‘What then?’ She edges in closer, her eyes narrowing to widen and I can feel the heat coming from her body.
‘Then,’ I nod and tilt me head. She tilts hers in an invitation to kiss her, ‘then I came back here to see a rancid fucking cunt who gets off on the misery of others…’ The slap rings out loud across the bar. The barman glances up, shrugs and carries on with his conversation. My eyes screw shut at the stinging pain burning my cheek. It feels nice. It hurts and feels nice. Pain is what I deserve now. Pain is what I have become. I open my eyes to see her staring at me with fury etched on her face. An instant transition from being turned on to insulted in the worst possible way.
I smile with the pleasure only a drunk mind can feel from a sudden forming idea, leaning forward I whisper close, ‘make it a good one.’
‘Good one what?’ she snaps.
‘Memorable.’ I shrug.
‘Huh?’
‘Huh?’ I mimic her with a sneer. ‘Hit me again.’
‘What?’
‘Hit me again,’ I slur with a leering grin.
‘Mike, stop this.’
‘What’s up? You like the suffering of others so hit me again.’
‘No, stop it.’
I glare at her. ‘Hit me again you fucking idiot.’ She flinches as though to hit me but holds it back and just glares, ‘don’t,’ she whispers angrily.
‘Pah!’ I wave a desultory hand at her, ‘you,’ I announce loudly, ‘are just like every other fucking twat in my life.’
‘Stop this.’ She drops her head in embarrassment.
‘Always fucking going on and on.’ My speech is slurred and bordering on aggressive, ‘oi mate,’ I call down the bar to the barman, ‘is she a hooker?’
‘Mike!’
‘What?’ He looks at me without expression.
‘Hooker mate, is she a hooker?’
‘Maybe,’ he shrugs. The woman turns to stare at us both, a hard eyed girl in her early twenties plastered in garish makeup.
‘Can we get a hooker?’ I turn to Elizabeth.
‘Are you serious?’ she blurts in shock.
‘What?’ I shrug casually, ‘what’s the issue, we’ll both fuck her…’ the slap is harder, the sting deeper and I can’t help but almost smile. ‘Is that a no then?’ I slur and sway on the stool.
‘You’re disgusting,’ she snaps, ‘completely disgusting.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I paw at her arm, ‘don’t be cross, I just wanted a hooker.’
‘We’re going. Right now,’ she stands up quickly, ‘I mean right now,’ she glares at me.
‘Uh ho,’ I chuckle at the barman, one man to
Lorraine Massey, Michele Bender