Free Sex and Other Changes by David Nobbs Page A

integrity impugned as Nick now realised. ‘You haven’t come to some shady backstreet operator. We have strict procedures, criticised by some as too strict and causing unnecessary hardship to our patients. I will have to decide if you’re suitable. I’ll seek a second opinion, you’ll receive counselling and regular assessments, and if we find you’re suitable you’ll undergo a lengthy spell of hormone treatment.’
    â€˜I see. I must say I thought it would all be much more straightforward, and I know that you have a more than 90 per cent success and satisfaction rate.’
    â€˜You’ve read the subject up pretty well. Yes, we have, but there are three points to note about that. One – the follow-up period is pretty short as the process is in its infancy. Two – patients are reluctant to admit to themselves, let alone to anyone else, that they wish they hadn’t had the op on which they’d pinned such hopes. And three – our careful procedures are the main cause of that satisfaction rate.’
    He leant forward. He was balancing his notebook on his lap. Nick noticed how large his knees were. He wondered if he’d find him attractive when he was a woman. Doctor Langridge noticed the look and raised his eyebrows.
    â€˜Yes? You were thinking?’ he demanded.
    â€˜I was wondering – this is embarrassing – I was wondering if I’d find you attractive when I’m a woman.’
    â€˜I see,’ said Doctor Langridge. ‘And? Will you?’
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜Ah.’
    â€˜It’s too dangerous.Doctor-patient relationship. Too dangerous for you.’
    â€˜Nothing I can project imaginatively leads me to believe that I would be fighting any irresponsible unprofessional desires in your case,’ said Doctor Langridge drily. ‘We guarantee womanhood. We do
not
guarantee beauty.’
    Doctor Langridge smiled for the second time.
    â€˜At the end of a thorough process of psychology and counselling,’ he continued, ‘I would hope that we would be in a position to allow you to start your Real Life Test.’
    Nick knew about that, of course, but he’d hoped that it was all exaggerated, that it could be circumvented, that he could be fast-tracked to femininity.
    â€˜You will have to live as a woman in society for two years before your operation.’
    Two years! Two years turning up at the Cornucopia dressed as a woman, but not a woman. And then he began to think of Head Office. They weren’t going to stand for it, were they? Not the Cornucopia way. Clashes with our Corporate Code. He could imagine it, and in imagining it and being terrified by the prospect, he failed to listen to Doctor Langridge.
    â€˜I’m sorry,’ he admitted. ‘I wandered a bit there. I was thinking, the Real Life Test, it could be a bit of a problem.’
    â€˜Are you getting cold feet?’
    â€˜Very much so, but I don’t intend to pull out. I haven’t any choice, you see.’
    Doctor Langridge nodded. That seemed to please him.
    â€˜Your wife will have to sign a letter agreeing to your hormone treatment and witnessed by a solicitor. She’ll be told that you’ll experience loss of sexual drive …’
    â€˜Not much to lose.’
    â€˜Ah. Loss of the capacity for penile erection.’
    â€˜Ditto.’
    â€˜Ah. And side effects that may include depression, deep vein thrombosis, liver damage and, conceivably, death.’
    Doctor Langridge smiled for the third time, and more broadly than before. The effect was very disconcerting.
    â€˜I’m prepared to take that risk,’ said Nick rather pompously. ‘The dangers don’t sound much worse than the list given out with the average packet of pills.’
    â€˜But is your wife prepared to take that risk?’ asked Doctor Langridge.
    â€˜I hope so,’ said Nick. ‘I believe so. She’s a truly wonderful