Free Half In Love With Death by Emily Ross

my chance to do something with May or Sheila after school. As I grabbed some books from my locker, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I almost dropped them. I turned to see Billy standing behind me.
    He said, “You walking home?”
    Buffalo Bill, Billy—reality stranger than a poem. I hadn’t seen him since the kiss. Talk to him, I thought. Now. Before he leaves. “Yes.”
    â€œWant to walk home together?” he asked.
    As we stepped out into the sunlight-soaked world, Tony’s gold car was idling in front of the school. He was everywhere lately. For a moment I thought he was waiting for me, but then Debbie came over and got in.
    May and Sheila walked up to us, and May beamed at Billy and said, “Linda’s picking us up. She can give you a ride home.” She added, “And you, too, Caroline.”
    Billy shook his head. “No, thanks. I need the exercise.”
    May frowned. “Caroline, you can still come if you want.”
    â€œThat’s okay. I need the exercise, too.” I tried to look disappointed I wasn’t going with her.
    For a moment, she was at a loss for words. Then Linda pulled up in a bright red convertible. “Last chance, guys,” she said. “Top down.”
    Billy smiled. “Maybe another time.” As they sped away, Billy shook his head. “May doesn’t like to hear ‘no.’”
    As we walked, circles of sweat formed under my armpits. My dress was plastered to my back, and my shoes hurt. More than anything I wanted a cold drink, but there weren’t any stores, just house after house, all the same, right down to their brown front lawns with prickly cacti rising out of the dust.
    When we were in front of his house, I said, “Thank God. I can’t take another step.”
    â€œIf my bike wasn’t broken, I wouldn’t be walking,” Billy said.
    â€œYour bike is broken?”
    â€œYeah. I wiped out coming home from a party at a dry wash in the desert.”
    â€œWhat were you doing at one of those parties?” Jess had told me about how kids liked to hang out and drink in the dry creek beds in the desert.
    â€œDrinking,” Billy said. “Don’t look so surprised, Caroline. Everyone drinks.” He wiped some sweat from his brow. “Can I ask you a question?”
    I smiled, waiting for something romantic. “Okay.”
    â€œI was wondering how you’re dealing with it.”
    My heart sank when I realized he was talking about my sister, but I gave him the advice people always gave me. “I just put it out of my mind and go on. What else is there to do?”
    â€œRight.” Billy paused. “We got a letter from Steve yesterday.” He let out a slow sigh. “He saw someone get his head blown off. It’s good to hear from him, but I wouldn’t want to know if something like that happened to Steve. I’d rather go on thinking he’s all right.” He looked at me. “Is that how you feel about Jess?”
    For a second I couldn’t speak.
    â€œI wish I had a letter from her,” I finally said. “It could say, ‘I hate you all’ or ‘I’m never coming back,’ it wouldn’t matter. Just hearing from her would be enough. Not knowing is the worst.” My stomach was in a knot. “She could be a pain, but it’s a bummer not having her around.”
    â€œI always assumed Steve would be here to watch my games.” His face stiffened. “This war is ruining everything. My dad will kill me, but if it’s still going on when I graduate, I’m going to Canada.”
    I looked at him in disbelief. “And run away like Jess?”
    â€œCaroline,” he said. He kicked a stone into the gutter. It clattered when it hit the bottom. “I meant to tell you a while ago, but I didn’t know how. That party I mentioned was on the night your sister went missing.”
    â€œDid you see