Free Poster Boy by Dede Crane

vessels.”
    â€œBut skin cancer happens on the surface.”
    â€œWhat I mean to say, Gray, is that you just don’t know enough to be making these decisions.”
    â€œI’ve been reading on the net — ”
    â€œDon’t believe everything you read.” He sighed. “Especially on line.”
    He was treating me like I was some little kid.
    Mom was now standing in the doorway all glassy-eyed. She looked seriously sleep-deprived.
    â€œI know you’re just trying to help, Gray,” said Dad. “But a bigger help would be to remember to take out the trash so I didn’t have to do it for you.” He snickered. “Or we’ll put you in charge of the recycling?” He started to put the cereal back in the cupboard and I felt my stomach harden. I’d blown off my day to do this…
    â€œYou have to be practical, Gray, weigh the negatives against the benefits,” he continued. “The sun can cause cancer but we still need it to survive. Tuna fish has mercury in it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t one of the most nutritious things you can eat. Heck, there’s DDT, dioxins and whatever else being found in breast milk, but nobody would argue it still isn’t hands down the best thing for a baby.”
    â€œBreast milk has carcinogens?” The thought made me queasy. “And nobody’s doing anything about it?”
    â€œYou are, Gray,” said Mom, walking past Dad to grab some plastic bags. “And it’s just great. I’m going to go, right now, and return these things for healthier alternatives.”
    Dad glared at her back. “Well, you’re not taking my shampoo.”
    â€œCoal tars are on the American Cancer Society list,” I said, more confident with Mom on side.
    Shampoo in hand, Dad met my eye. “The plastic of your iPod there is made using hundreds of chemical compounds. The cotton in your goddamn brand-name clothes is the most heavily pesticided crop in the world.”
    I don’t think I’d ever heard Dad swear in front of me before.
    â€œThe creature comforts of this modern world come with a price, Gray.”
    â€œCancer?”
    He threw up his hands.
    â€œYou want to live like a caveman, go right ahead. It’ll save me some money.” He smiled but it wasn’t funny.
    â€œEthan,” said Mom, sounding disappointed. “We’re all working toward the same objective — ”
    â€œWe all need to relax is what we need to do.” He sounded anything but relaxed.
    â€œRelax?” said Mom in disbelief. “Relax?”
    â€œYes, and enjoy Maggie while we still — ”
    â€œThis is no time to relax.”
    Dad shook his head. “I give up.”
    â€œGreat attitude.” She started jamming things in a shopping bag.
    Dad took his tainted shampoo and left.
    â€œSorry, Mom.” Though I was pissed at Dad, I hated to see them argue.
    â€œNo, you are not sorry,” she said sternly. “It only makes sense to err on the safe side. Right?”
    â€œWell, yeah.”
    â€œCome on, help me bag. I’m going to return these things.”
    â€œCan you return stuff that’s already been used?”
    â€œI don’t see why not.” She sounded ready for a fight.
    * * *
    I’m not sure how, but Mom managed to return every last item and arrived home with organic this and that, non-toxic cleansers, unbleached toilet paper, etc.
    â€œHad quite the public argument with the manager,” she said, laughing. She seemed all hopped. “People were stopping to watch but what did I care?”
    Sure glad I wasn’t there.
    â€œI want to drive out to this organic farm my friend Kath told me about. Their food’s supposed to have life-giving properties.” She was talking really fast. “Why don’t you come with me, Gray? You can practice your highway driving.”
    â€œShouldn’t we put these