Free Veil of Shadows by Shiloh Walker

We outnumber the civilians four to one and if it came down to only having . . . ah . . . relationships with civilians, we’d have a lot of infighting and animosity over it. We’re allowed to do whatever we wish on personal time.”
    He narrowed his eyes, trying to follow her thinking. Unsuccessfully. Women. They were incomprehensible. She was attracted to him but wouldn’t pursue it. Not because it posed a problem with her job, though. So why?
    “If it isn’t that, then why? What is this problem?”
    Syn glanced away, once more pushing her fingers through her short, dark hair. A nervous habit, he was coming to realize. “You don’t understand the idea of asking easy questions, do you?”
    “If the questions are easy, likely so are the answers, and I can find them on my own.” He cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked his thumb over her lower lip. “If it isn’t because of some law within the base camp, and if it isn’t because you are not attracted to me, then why?”
    “It’s because I’m attracted,” she admitted softly. “I don’t know if I need the complications it can bring me.”
    “So you need time to . . . what, decide if you want these complications?”
    Unsmiling, she nodded.
    Something inside his heart clenched and knotted. Then, as bizarre as it might seem, he felt as though some small part of him started to die. It took everything he had to let his hand drop. It took even more to make himself take a step back. He reached down and caught her hand, lifting it to his lips. Pressing his mouth to the back of her hand, he murmured, “Then take that time. Should you decide you want . . . complications . . . I am not hard to find.”

    Absolutely fucking wrong, Syn decided three days later.
    Xan was hard to find. Very hard.
    Should you decide you want . . . complications . . . I am not hard to find.
    Syn wasn’t entirely convinced she wanted complications, but she did want him, and it was growing painfully clear if she didn’t decide to risk those complications, she could say farewell to a decent night’s sleep. For quite some time.
    Not to mention that the chill was worse now. It was like those few brief touches had done something to her inside, and now she felt the cold in a way she could no longer ignore. Although it was still smoldering hot outside, she was so chilled, she’d taken to wearing long-sleeved tunics under her cavinir vest. She couldn’t handle it much longer.
    She needed to feel that heat of his. She needed him.
    She’d made that decision yesterday. But when she went to look for him after they’d finished training and their various job rotations in the evening, he had been nowhere to be found. He was serving on weapons detail, learning more about the tech-based weapons and repairing them. She’d already been assured that at some point, he’d likely be helping design the weapons. It didn’t surprise her. She knew he had a canny mind. But she wouldn’t address this while one or both of them were supposed to be on duty.
    Now she couldn’t find him outside of the job, and it was only irritating her even more.
    In the past three days, ever since she’d lost her mind completely and kissed him, she had been having a very hard time not thinking about him. While she worked, she could make herself focus. It wasn’t hard to do . . . Matters like sex and need did manage to pale next to matters of life and death. Both of them definitely had jobs that dealt with matters of life and death.
    So while she was busy, she could deal with the cold that ached inside her, and she could deal with how acutely empty and lonely she was. Until he touched her, she hadn’t realized just how cold, just how lonely, she was.
    But when she was no longer focusing on her job, in the nights when she lay awake and longing for him, he dominated her thoughts.
    She needed him to touch her, to chase that cold loneliness away.
    Gritting her teeth together, she strode out of the common area where she’d hoped