Free After Alex Died by Dakota Madison

What difference does it make?”
    “Since when do you care what I think?”
    “What makes you think I don’t care?”
    Did he really care about what I thought of him? It was a question I hadn’t truly considered. I had just made assumptions based on past experiences. Things had obviously changed a lot since then.
    “Can we at least agree to do our jobs?” I asked. “It’s not fair that I had to get everyone ready and on the bus by myself.”
    “You’re right. I apologize for being late and putting you in a precarious position with Dr. Jones.”
    “Just don’t do it again.”
    He grabbed his sunglasses from his front pocket and put them on. “If I remember how I feel right now, there won’t be a repeat performance, believe me.”
    I elbowed him in the shoulder.
    “Ouch, what did you do that for?” he protested.
    “No napping.”
    “Okay, fine. No napping. You’re like a mini Dr. Jones.”
    That made me smile. He might have thought it was a jab but I considered it a compliment.
    The drive to the Thomas Edison National Historic Park seemed quick but that may have been because I was excited to get there. I knew it was kind of dorky but I was really into history and science. On the drive there Dr. Mayfield told us a little bit about Edison and his inventions, as well as the infamous feud he had with Nicola Tesla. Alex always had a thing for science and he liked interesting inventions. He would have loved seeing Edison’s Laboratory, although he’d always said he liked Tesla better. Maybe it was because Tesla was an underdog and never appreciated in his time. I think that’s how Alex had felt too.
    Half of our large group went on a tour of Edison’s Laborat ory while the other half toured Edison’s Glenmont Estate. The girls in our group voted to see the mansion first and they were quite persuasive, so we joined the Estate tour group first.
    As we walked through the 29-room Queen Anne Victorian style mansion, the kids seemed to be in awe, at least the girls and Lyle were. I wasn’t sure about Ryan and Hunter, who were cracking jokes and goofing around.
    While a tour guide explained some of the unique construction features of the home, Cameron pulled me aside and whispered, “Are you still mad at me?”
    “I wasn’t mad,” I replied. “More like disappointed.”
    He sighed. “I think that’s worse.”
    “We really should pay attention to the tour guide,” I admo nished. “Remember, we’re supposed to be setting a good example for the kids.”
    “Yes, Ma’am,” Cameron said as he gave me a wide grin. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to smile back. But I didn’t want to give him the impression that he was actually getting to me, even if he was.
    The kids in our group were surprisingly engaged when we made our way to the laboratory. Even the troublemakers, Ryan and Hunter, seemed to enjoy seeing the historic lab and learning about Edison’s innovations and inventions.
    Despite actually enjoying myself for the first time in a long time, I still felt a twinge of sadness that I was there and Alex wasn’t. I wondered if I would always feel that way—whenever I had an experience that I knew Alex would never have—would I always feel sad that he was gone?
    “What’s wrong?” Cameron whispered to me as we headed toward to buses for the drive back to the dorms.
    “Nothing,” I said , although it felt like a lie.
    “I can see something’s wrong,” he insisted. “It’s etched on your face.”
    I heaved a sigh. “Just missing Alex.”
    Cameron nodded but he didn’t comment. What could he say?
    “I just wonder if I’ll always feel this way—like something’s missing because Alex isn’t here.”
    “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I don’t think so. I think you can get to a point where you miss Alex but don’t feel like something’s missing. Does that make sense?”
    “Yeah, it does.”
    “Glad I could help,” he offered.
    I didn’t think I’d ever see the day when