Free Chasing Butterflies by Beckie Stevenson

sway in the distance while trying not to think about why Granny is out here…or why.
    It doesn’t work. Images are flashing through my mind so quickly that I feel vomit churning in my stomach. This is too much. It’s too similar.
    “I can’t be here,” I wheeze, feeling the panic slither through my veins like fire. “I can’t do this anymore, Granny.”
    “Then go,” she spits. “I’ve never asked you to stay here.”
    I turn and run. I don’t think about what I’m wearing or how late it is. I don’t think about where I’m going or what I’m going to do when I get there. I just run until I can’t run anymore.
     
     
     
    I stop when I’m on the other side of the village—the side the posh people live on. The side where girls carry little dogs in their handbags and are given fancy cars for their birthdays. I start to walk away from the creek and towards one of the houses in the distance.
    After a minute, I feel vibrations in my chest, and when I look up at the house, I realise there are people dancing in the garden and around a hot tub. I hear cheers and laughter as I get closer, and then I start to see people from my school.
    My instinct is to turn around and run away before anyone sees me, but I don’t move. Curiosity grabs a hold of me and keeps me standing where I am, forcing my eyes to roam all over the girls that are wearing pretty dresses as they sway and throw their arms in the air. I guess they’re drunk, which is why they fall into people and shout things louder than they need to. I see guys touching and kissing girls, not worrying about who can see them or how they might be perceived.
    And for the first time in my life, I feel jealous of those girls. The girls that boys want to kiss and touch in front of people. The girls that go to parties and wear sparkly dresses without looking out of place. The girls that I’m sure Gabriel likes to kiss.
    A twig snaps behind me. I turn around and feel a scream die in my throat when I find Jasmine staring right into my eyes.
    “You scared me,” I hiss, taking a step away from her.
    “Good,” she says, stepping towards me. “Get her, girls.”
    What?
    My head swivels in all directions as I see several of her friends emerging from behind the trees. They immediately surround me.
    “We saw you staring at the boys and their naked chests,” she snarls. “Do you want to go to the party? We’ll take you, won’t we, girls? Maybe we can even manage to convince one of those boys to let you lick them.” She giggles and smiles smugly to herself. “What do you say, girls? Would you like to see Yara lick someone’s chest?”
    “Yeah,” one of them calls.
    I shake my head as my whole body trembles. I swear I can even feel my knees knocking together. “I d-don’t w-want to go. It’s fine. I’m just going home.”
    Jasmine pretends to pout at me. “Don’t be a party-pooper, Yara.” She lunges for me, but I dart to the side, avoiding her by millimetres. “Come and have a dance. There’s beer too. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.”
    “I’m going home!” I screech as I jump away from one of her friends who grabs for me.
    “Don’t you want to say hello to the nice boys?”
    Please don’t do this. It’ll humiliate me. “No, thank you,” I say as I back away from them further.
    “Fuck this,” she hisses, throwing her cigarette into the bushes beside her. “She’s going to that party. Grab her.”
    I feel a hand tug at my top, but my instincts take over and I kick as hard as I can. My foot collides with something and I hear a huff, but I don’t stop to check who it was I hit. I just run.
    I stumble through some of the bushes and fall to the ground with a huff. I feel blood trickle from the top of my head, but I don’t have time to worry about it when I hear them calling out my name. I push myself to standing, ignoring the pain that shoots down my leg, and sprint away from them as fast as I can.
     
     
     
    I slam into something that’s hard