Free My Miserable Life by F. L. Block

know. And I love you,” she said.
    I hate my mom, even if she is just trying to protect me. And my new bike that I almost NEVER GET TO RIDE. Rocko Hoggen. Leif Zuniga. Even Serena Perl. And especially the monster that kidnapped that little kid.
    And I hate myself because I came along and made Angelina jealous and my mom worried. My life is miserable, and I realize now it’s my own miserable fault.

 
    APRIL

    I am stupid.
    I am ugly.
    I am bad at sports.

 
    CHAPTER 15
    TROUBLE
    Today I got in big trouble.
    Maybe it’s the worst trouble I have ever gotten in. Ms. Washington gave me this freaked-out look, as if I’d hit Rocko Hoggen in the teeth.
    My teacher put her hand firmly on my shoulder and walked me out to meet my mom after school. “I think we need to have another conference,” she said, handing the paper I had written to my mom.

    Mom read it, and I saw tears in her eyes. She looked at me. “Ben?” she said. “Why did you write this?”
    I looked at my shoes. One was untied, but I didn’t bother to fix it.
    We walked back to the classroom and sat down. Everyone was very quiet.
    â€œWhat’s this about, Ben?” Ms. Washington asked.
    I shrugged.
    â€œYou don’t feel okay about yourself?”
    I shrugged again.
    â€œBecause you’re smart and handsome and very good at sports,” said Ms. Washington.
    â€œI tell him that all the time,” my mom said. She looked at me. “Don’t I, Ben?”
    I shook my head. “You just tell me how worried you are about me.”
    â€œWell, I think it all the time. How wonderful you are. How smart and handsome and athletic and wonderful I think you are,” my mom said. “Don’t you know that?”
    I shrugged.
    Ms. Washington said, “Ben, are you still upset about Rocko?”
    I nodded.
    â€œBecause there are so many kids who like you. I know Leif likes you, even though I think he feels obligated to hang out with Rocko. And I know Joe Knapp likes you. And Serena.”
    â€œRegina said that Serena doesn’t like me even as a friend,” I mumbled.
    Ms. Washington asked me to repeat that two times because she couldn’t hear me. Each time I said it in a softer, more mumbled voice. But finally she understood me. She said, “I think Regina would only say something like that because she has a crush on you. I’ve seen her looking at you, and once I saw a note she wrote about it to Ella.”
    I looked up for a second at Ms. Washington and then I looked back down.
    â€œSo I want you to write something for me,” Ms. Washington said. “I want you to write some things that are awesome about you, okay?”
    I nodded. But I didn’t feel ready to do that yet.
    *   *   *
    Later that day, my mom said, “Ben, let’s get on our bikes and take a ride.”
    â€œAre you sure?” I asked. My mom hadn’t ridden her bike in years.
    â€œYes. Tree has been helping me learn again. They say you never forget how to ride a bike, but that’s not exactly true.”
    Everything looked clean after the rain. The sun was out, but it was still cold, and it made the leaves on the trees sparkle like the shiny things on Serena Perl’s shirts. My bike had a fast, smooth ride. We came home, and my mom made grilled chicken burritos with guacamole for dinner.
    â€œMom,” I said, “I’m sorry I said I hated you.”
    â€œIt’s okay, Ben.”
    She came and knelt on the kitchen floor and put her arms around me. She looked into my eyes, and it was hard for me to look into hers without giggling, even though nothing was funny.
    â€œI know that what I said scared you. I probably shouldn’t have said it. I was just feeling like you were ready to be independent, and you can’t be unless you understand how dangerous the world is. I’m so sorry it has to be that way.”
    â€œI’m sorry, Mommy,” I