Free Too Far to Whisper by Arianna Eastland Page B

eve, she would be free of him for a fortnight.
    After several long minutes, Nathaniel stopped walking and turned to face her. “You have been avoiding me of late,” he said. “I had anticipated that the days ere my departure would be spent growing closer, not more distant.”
    “Your mother has required my attention more often than usual this week,” she explained, tearing her eyes from his penetrating gaze. “She feels it is necessary to consult with me on every decision about the wedding. And after constantly tending to her needs each day, I have been too exhausted to do anything other than retire to my chamber.”
    “If you are indeed as weary as you claim,” he said, his chin rising, “then why did you so eagerly offer to assist Grace in the kitchen just now?” When Rosalind lowered her head and remained silent, Nathaniel sighed and shook his head. “You do not like me much, do you?” It was more of a statement than a question.
    Rosalind reached up to twist a lock of her hair. Reluctantly, she allowed her eyes to return to his. “Nay, I do not.”
    “And despite witnessing my mother’s delight and improved health due to the news of our betrothal, you still would prefer not to wed me?”
    “As I told you, I do not wish to wed any man.” Before she could stop herself, she added, “but most especially you.”
    Nathaniel stared at her for a moment, his expression revealing nothing. He turned and presented his back to her, then gazed up at the stars.
    His lack of response disturbed Rosalind. She feared she might have made him too angry to speak. And the last thing she wanted was to anger a man who held her family’s future in his hands.
    “I apologize,” she softly said. “I did not mean to blurt out my feelings that way.”
    Nathaniel slowly turned to face her. “Do not apologize for being honest,” he said. “You may not have feelings for me now, but I still believe you will come to love me. Perhaps ‘tis for the best that I am leaving on the morrow. Our time apart may serve to strengthen our relationship.”  He offered her a slight smile. “Perhaps you even will come to miss me.”
    Rosalind remained silent, afraid to comment, for she was certain her words once again would spill out in the form of an insult. Nathaniel moved closer to her until his body nearly touched hers. “Do you realize how much I desire you?” he asked. He used his thumb to wipe a smudge of soot from her cheek. “You are far too innocent to understand that whenever you are near, whenever I see your hips swaying as you walk, I ache from wanting you.”
    Rosalind fully understood the meaning of his words. Her brother oft had discussed his own aching need for Faith during their courtship. And it was that very ache that had driven Ben to his regrettable behavior on his wedding night.
    “I suppose I should be flattered that I incite such desire within you,” she said, her cheeks coloring, “especially since I have done naught to tempt you. Perhaps ‘twould be to your benefit, Captain, while on this voyage, if you entertain several of those women of whom you spoke – you recall, the ones who so eagerly flock to your cabin whenever your ship is in port?” She lifted her chin and looked directly at him. “I am certain they would be more than willing to relieve this disturbing ‘ache’ of which you speak.”
    Nathaniel smiled wryly. “My desire is only for you, my sweet. I assure you, there will be no wenches aboard my ship during this voyage, for ‘tis only proper that I respect our betrothal and remain faithful to my future bride.”
    “Do as you wish,” Rosalind said with a shrug. “I shan’t know the difference.”
    “But I shall. And, despite what you may think, I do have a conscience.”
    Rosalind swallowed a laugh. Conscience? Nathaniel knew not the meaning of the word, let alone possessed one! She had no doubt he frequently would sate his lust while away, and truth be known, she hoped he would. She had