serious and I want to be a grandma!” she looked at me sternly . She stood up and started cleaning off the table. I turned towards Eve as she stood up to. “Well ma’am maybe it will be sooner than you think.” She winked at me and started helping my mom clean off the table.
“See son, she wants babies too.” My mom looked at me smugly. I rolled my eyes. What did Eve mean by that? My dad got up and waved at me to follow. He wanted me to go outside with him and smoke a cigarette. “Dad I’m trying to quit.”
He laughed some to himself. “Don’t lie to yourself, come on.”
I heard my mom and Eve laughing in the kitchen so I went on outside with my dad.
Chapter Fourteen
After cleaning up dinner and everything Allen and I headed upstairs to bed. I didn’t know what I was going to do about my whole situation. My whole life was a mess. I changed into my shorts and t-shirt and got into bed. Allen was already lying down. I made my blanket wall like I did with Lee. I still couldn’t get over the fact I was pregnant and I still wasn’t too sure how Allen felt about it, all I know is he liked me but the baby changed things. If I were him, I would want nothing to do with me. I could hear him breathing but I knew he wasn’t sleeping. The thought of him not wanting me and the baby brought tears to my eyes. I know it’s crazy but some part of me dreamt of a life with Allen. He did something to me that made me feel safe enough to dream of a future.
I started to feel myself get angry, why did I let an abusive drunk control my life? Allen was right; I didn’t have to live this way. Not me and definitely not my baby. I could make our lives better. I felt the anger burn in my chest for all the years I put up with his shit. Tears were streaming down my face; I could feel them burning my cheeks. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down; it came out uneven and raspy. I felt A llen reach over and grab my hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. I squeezed his back hoping he could feel what love I had left through the palm of my hand.
At that moment he broke down my make shift barrier and pulled me into him. His arms wrapping around my body and his breath on my neck made my thighs quiver. He nibbled at my ear lobe. He kissed my shoulder as his hand fell upon my hip, my skin tingling underneath his fingers. I moved in towards him more urging him to keep touch ing me. He moved his hand down toward the inside of my thigh; I ground my teeth together as it was all I could do to keep from moaning. Just the feel of his hands made me want to burst.
“Is this okay?” he asked in the sexiest voice I have ever heard. I shook my head yes. He then started kissing on my neck a nd nibbling on my collar bone. A slight sound of ecstasy escaped my lips as his hand moved up and inside my shirt. I felt my nipples harden with the anticipation of his touch. He seemed to have noticed this and stopped. He brought his mouth back to my ear and started to whisper again
“Do you want me?” he asked.
I shook my head yes.
“Tell me you want me.” He demanded in his low gravelly voice. His demanding tone excited me but also terrified me . I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, well at least I prayed he wouldn’t. He moved his head where my lips were by his hear.
“I want to hear you say it Evangeline.”
I licked my lips trying to muster up any common sense I had left. I finally whispered softly into his ear.
“I want you , Allen.”
And with those four words I started to feel my emotional wall completely crumble. Saying it out loud made it so much more real. He grabbed at my breast and caressed me so lovingly. He sat me up and took my shirt off and laid me back down. My whole body was shaking with the mixture of excitement and fear. Allen kissed on each breast tenderly, paying close attention to my reaction to him. He kissed down my