Free Zero by Jonathan Yanez Page A

shoulder-length
hair into place with his other. Tony waited for him by the open door with that
same look on his face. It was a look Alan hated with every fiber in his being.
It was a look that said, “I’m sorry, you are like this. I wish you could be
better.”
    Alan flashed a practice grin to Tony.
A grin that was empty on Alan’s part but seemed to satisfy most anyone else,
“Thanks, sorry.”
    Tony just wore that same look on his
face as he nodded, “Up late again last night reading? Those fantasy books
again?”
    “Yeah, I’m sorry, I know.” Alan rushed
past Tony and out into the front yard. The house he lived in with Tony and the
two other boys wasn’t the worse to which Alan had been assigned. He didn’t want
to cause waves now, or do something that might get him kicked out. Running
across the lawn towards the waiting bus, Alan turned around, “I’m sorry, Tony.
I really am. I promise it won’t happen again.”
    Tony just stood there with that same
look. An awkward moment passed as Alan thought Tony might say something. Maybe
give him some reassurance, or tell him that it was okay. He didn’t. Instead
Tony turned his back and walked into the house, letting the tired screen door
close behind him.

Chapter 3 
     
    The bus had been rough at first. High
school politics were just as brutal as any grasp for power on Capitol Hill.
Alan used to have to find a spot next to someone that usually gave him a dirty
look or told him that the seat was taken. Now Alan went straight to the back of
the bus where everyone left a seat open so they wouldn’t have to sit next to
him.
    Eyes directed to the floor now, Alan
made his way to the rear of the bus. With any luck he could avoid eye contact
with the already sitting passengers he knew were looking him up and down with
disgust.
    Studying the black bus’ floorboards
Alan walked to the back. A snicker met his ears, “Well, the freak decided to
show up for the ride. What were you up late doing last night, weirdo? Playing
World of Warcraft on your Xbox?”
    Alan’s mouth opened before he could
stop himself, “They don’t make World of Warcraft for Xbox, it’s a PC only game.
And no, I was reading.” Alan looked up shocked at his own words. Brent Carson
was your typical jock; the letterman jacket, the offensive line position for
the school football team and boyfriend to the prettiest girl in school,
Jennifer Richardson.
    Brent’s face looked just as surprised
as Alan’s at his response. “Whatever, nerd. Get to your seat in the back of the
bus before you have an accident.” With a disgusted look he turned to Jennifer,
“Don’t worry I’ll have my license in a few weeks and then we can skip this
whole bus thing. We can leave the minions to their public ways of travel.”
    Jennifer nodded not saying a word;
instead she gave Alan a look like Tony had. A look that said she was sorry; not
for her boyfriend’s actions but that she was sorry Alan was such a loser. It
was a look that made Alan’s stomach turn.
    Alan made it the rest of the way to
the rear of the bus without incident, passing cliques of hipsters, jocks, and
goths. Slumping into the familiar black seat Alan let out a sigh. He was facing
another day; another day of being alone, of school, of avoiding eye contact.
Depression sank deeper, soaking in like a thirsty sponge consuming water. Alan
looked out the window at the passing homes.

Chapter 4
     
    “Alan, how is the medication working?”
    Alan was sitting in Dr. Larson’s
office in a dark leather brown chair. His hands were in his lap and he was
looking around the room in awe. Although he had visited his psychiatrist’s
office for months now, Alan still got a sense of joy and wonder when surrounded
by so many books. Each wall was lined with shelves making the doctor’s office
look more like a library than an office.
    “Alan?”
    “Oh, sorry. The meds aren’t working. I
don’t feel any better.”
    “Still depressed?”
    Alan let out a sigh,