Free The Assassin's Salvation (Mandrake Company) by Ruby Lionsdrake

advanced infantry. I hadn’t had much in the way of formal schooling, so it was about all I qualified for. They give you psych tests early on, and it turned out that I had what it takes to become a Fleet assassin.” He twirled a finger to highlight what a prize that had been. Oh, he had thought it fabulous at the time, some sign that he was a particularly virile and promising warrior. It had been later when he realized the tests had been more about measuring his moral flexibility than any athletic prowess. “I did well at the training and was sent to my first unit. Usually, you’re at least eighteen when this happens, since you can’t enlist until your eighteenth birthday. Legally. I had just turned sixteen when I showed up on Sergeant Viktor Mandrake’s doorstep.”
    Jamie didn’t say anything, but she was listening and seemed less tense and uncomfortable. Sergei took that as a positive development.
    “He wasn’t enthused about having an assassin assigned to his unit. At that point, he was still a little idealistic about what all Crimson Ops was, and what they did, I think.” Sergei waved a hand to dismiss the comment, realizing she might not be that aware of what her father’s career had entailed, especially if he had retired before she was born. “He’s actually leading a much more honorable life now, though I don’t think he sees himself that way. Albatross , hell of a name for a ship. Anyway. I was a cocky young private, eager to prove myself better than all of the men in the squad, Mandrake included. We got sent off on some hairy missions early on, and I got my fill of blood, more than I’d ever wanted. The, uh, excitement and newness of it all wore off quickly.” He studied his hands, which were wrapped around the coffee mug he hadn’t taken a sip from. He wasn’t sure what it said about him that talking about how he had come to be an assassin who took countless lives bothered him less than those stupid counselors. No, he knew exactly what it said about him. Moral flexibility. He snorted and took his first sip, wishing it were alcohol instead of caffeine. He needed something bracing. “After the missions, we would be sent to see these women called counselors. They were always women, oddly. Or maybe that’s not odd. Women are supposed to be more empathetic, right?” He met Jamie’s eyes. “Did your father ever mention them?”
    She shook her head.
    “Maybe his encounters weren’t quite so, hm.” Sergei spread a hand, not sure what the gesture meant, just that he was struggling to explain things. “We had a couple who were assigned to the ship in the three years I was there. They had all manner of drugs and tools for psychiatric use. Supposedly, they were there to keep us fit for duty and to report if anything changed to make us not fit for duty. That was the official line. But this one… I swear, she enjoyed screwing with everyone. The whole ship was afraid of her. There wasn’t anyone to report these people to, mind you. They were outside of the ranking system yet at the same time, treated like admirals because they had a direct line to high command and could break a man’s career. Anyway, this one, she picked on Mandrake quite a bit, but I was a special project. I have no idea why. She would drug me and, uh…” He took another sip. He’d never told anyone about this, and it was even harder to be blunt than he had realized. “Force me to have sex with her,” he finally managed, not able to look at anything except the table as he did so. “More than that. She was all manner of evil. I know how that must sound, coming from an assassin, but…” Sergei realized he was groping in the air with his hand and forced himself to clasp it around the mug again. “Until then, I’d had this notion that I was a big brave man, even if I wasn’t yet eighteen. But after dealing with her, there were times I ran off crying. I even went to Mandrake a couple of times, begging him to do something, as if