Free The Pentrals by Crystal Mack

lean back on the lacquered kitchen cabinets, my head suddenly feeling heavy. I have never been asked anything about myself. I rarely allow time for personal reflection. It’s easier to keep it all buried deep, forever locked away, because I know opening that box will only lead to pointless frustration. But here, after listening to that Class One, completely unable to express itself, I feel compelled to seize the moment while I can.
    “Because,” I begin, “I used to be a Person, just like you.”
     

* * 11 * *
     
    T he words are true, but having them out there, floating in the open, shocks me. I’ve never admitted them, barely even thought them, and my heart aches hearing the painful truth.
    “You… were a Person?”
    “A long time ago. I lived a human life. I don’t remember any of it, the Class Fours made sure to wipe all that away. But something I did back then led to my becoming a Pentral.” I run my fingers over my calf, the raw skin rubbing against the bandage. A mistake, a clumsy accident, caused my flesh to rip apart, but something deeper, more painful, ripped my life away. “Being a Shadow, devoting my life to another, is supposed to prove my worth. A sense of selflessness. It’s a chance at redemption.”
    I wish I could remember the Person I used to be, figure out why I found this fate. But now that I am here, in this body, I’ll probably never get the chance. Taking over my Person’s life will certainly not put me on a path to redeeming myself. I didn’t purposely switch places with Violet, but interrupting her life is in direct opposition of my duties. It’s selfish, unacceptable. Maybe I’m not worth saving after all.
    Violet spreads herself out on the floor all around me, like she’s trying to give me a hug. “Antares, I’m so sorry. We’ll figure this out. I’ll learn how to Shadow and you’ll set things right somehow. I mean we’ve made a pretty good team these past 17 years!”
    I laugh, happy to hear enthusiasm from the darkness around me. Violet has no reason to be encouraging but here she is, trying to pick me up. She seems to be handling all this remarkably well. I have to wonder how I would act if the tables were turned. Would my past human self be so willing to accept this other reality, so far flung from my own?
    “Antares?” she adds. “You’ve been following me my entire life, right?”
    “Yes, since day one.”
    “So, what do you think?” Violet asks earnestly.
    “About what?”
    “About me?” She is still, waiting for an honest response from the one being who has witnessed every high and low of her existence. For a moment, I am unsure of what to say. Wasn’t it my anger toward her that got us in this mess in the first place? My judgment of her thoughtless actions? Surely she must sense my disapproval.
    But of course that is not how I truly feel about Violet. I have watched her grow from a carefree girl in pigtails to a young woman dealing with difficulties. Deep down, I know she is still capable of goodness.
    “Violet, I’ve lived my life in awe of you. The art you create, the friendships you maintain—you see the world and capture its beauty.” I pause, still unsure if my thoughts are coming through correctly in speech. “You’re my Person. You always will be.”
    Violet is still, and I imagine her back in her body with that faraway look in her eyes. Stay with me , I think. Don’t give up.
    Somehow, she hears me. “Thank you,” she answers, then adds, “you know, I would not believe all this if I wasn’t on the floor staring up at myself.”
    I laugh, and she does too. A real moment of connection, and dare I say it, friendship. I have always considered Violet a friend, but our relationship has been entirely one-sided, with me imagining some deep understanding between us. Hearing her laugh from our conversation makes me feel closer to her than I ever have.
    I decide not to bring up the Reflection—too much has happened today. Maybe Pentrals aren’t