Free Songbird by Jamie Campbell Page A

internet.”
    She grabbed my arms to stop them flailing about. “It’s just a minor thing. The sound can go at any time, you know that. These things happen to everyone.”
    “But nobody else would stop. I just froze up, in front of everyone. They’re all going to know how terrible I am. I don’t even deserve to be on that stage.”
    “Brierly May Wilcox, you listen to me,” Demi said sternly. She certainly had my attention, nobody used my middle name except my mother. “You are human. Full stop. Things happen.”
    I didn’t believe her. Things didn’t happen to me , I made sure of it. I did everything with perfection so that things like losing my sound never happened.
    Demi somehow coaxed me out of my dress and got me back to the hotel. It was one of the last few nights we would actually be able to stay in a hotel so I should have been grateful for it. The problem was, I was beating myself up too much to care. I didn’t deserve a hotel, I should have just slept on the bus. Or the street.
    Alone in the room with only my misery for company, there was only one thing to do – go online. I trawled through my fan message boards, desperate to see what they were saying about my shows. I needed to hear they had a good time but I feared they were only voicing their disappointments.
    Some performers only checked their reviews with entertainment reporters. But not me, I didn’t care what snobby adults said with their jaded view of the world. I only cared about my fans and they were going to be my true critics. They were my target audience, the people I didn’t want to disappoint. All the industry professionals had probably seen more concerts than I had nights in my own bed.
    There were a few threads going in the message boards, one for New York, one for Boston, and others for venues I hadn’t yet played. They were buzzing with activity, especially the Boston one.
    I scanned through the discussions, like an alcoholic staring through the window of a bar. I both yearned for the comments and was disgusted that I was doing it. Still, I had to know, I couldn’t live another minute without knowing.
    The comments were mixed. A few thought I had seen better days, a few thought it was the best night of their lives. One post mentioned my sound problem but added it was fixed after a few minutes. Had it really only been a few minutes? It felt like an hour to me.
    According to one girl, she thought I looked terrified. I wondered if that was for the entire show, or just while the sound was gone? During the show, I hadn’t felt right because of the rushed start. However, my discomfort could have been for the whole thing.
    I was tempted to login under the alias I used all the time on the boards but I was interrupted by a knocking on the door before I could. Planting some glowing comments on the boards would have to wait a moment.
    I expected to see Demi on the other side of the door, checking in on me. She was more stringent than a babysitter. Yet standing in the doorway was Forest, holding a bottle of wine.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    C hapter Eight
     
     
    “ I don’t drink anymore,” I said, leaning on the doorframe and refusing to budge. It took all of my resolve to be so resolute.
    “Good, I don’t have any glasses,” he replied. “Are you going to let me in?”
    “I don’t think I should.”
    “Is the problem that you don’t trust me… or you?” He flashed me the smile that made me go weak at the knees. My God, there was something about him that was irresistible. If I could work out what it was, I would bottle it and never have to work again because of the profits.
    “Maybe it’s both?” I replied, except it sounded flirtier than I had intended.
    “I guess I’ll be drinking alone then,” Forest said before turning. He only got two steps away before I called him back.
    “Come on in,” I sighed. “I’m too uptight to sleep anyway.” I moved to let him pass and he settled on the plush coffee colored lounge