Free Fire and Rain by Andrew Grey Page B

asked. “People usually have nine months, but new parents are almost always overwhelmed at some point. You were trying to make a life for yourself and now you’re doing it for two. That adds more challenges. So don’t blame yourself, and concentrate on making the best life you can.”
    Jos nodded.
    “Have you thought about trying to get a new job?”
    “Yeah. But….”
    “I’m not saying right now, but think about what you want to do. I mean really want to do. I bet Donald could help you get into school. There are lots of programs and help available. You just need to think about what you want.”
    “To feed myself, have a house that’s mine, and to know that Isaac is safe, fed, and healthy. That’s all I really want. Everything else is immaterial,” Jos answered. “I can’t think beyond that right now. He has to come first.”
    “I know—”
    “No, you don’t,” Jos interrupted. “I know you’re trying to think longer term, but it’s the here and now that’s the problem. Hopes for the future come after we have enough food.” Isaac squirmed, and Jos let him slide off his lap. He ran back to his stuffed horse and began playing again, talking up a storm, telling “Spistachio” everything.
    “I used to have dreams. Big dreams. I wanted to be an engineer, the train kind, and then a doctor. I even wanted to be a policeman for a while. Even when I was working at the warehouse, I used to work hard and did my job the best I could in hopes I’d get noticed and promoted. On the streets, everything is immediate. How do I stay out of the rain? Get enough to eat, make sure I don’t get robbed, or hurt… maybe worse.”
    “I was only trying to help,” Kip said. “If you aren’t willing to look further, then nothing ever changes.”
    “But I can’t think about what I want to do in five years when Isaac doesn’t have enough to eat now. That’s all I think about. He’s fed and happy, which is a relief, so now I’m wondering how I can get him his next meal and make sure he’s safe and not going to get sick. That’s all I think about, and I know you’re going to say that we’re going to have dinner here, but what about in a few days or a week? We could be right back out there on the street again.” Jos’s voice got louder and his eyes wider. He sat back in the chair, gulping for air, on the verge of having a panic attack. Kip jumped to his feet, took the cup and set it aside, then pulled Jos’s arms up over his head to stretch his chest and help him fill his lungs.
    “It’s going to be okay.”
    Isaac ran over and put Pistachio onto Jos’s lap. “I’m okay,” Jos said, and Kip released his arms. Jos took Pistachio into his arms and hugged him tight.
    Isaac whimpered, and Kip lifted him onto his lap. “Jos is a little upset, but not at you. Go on and play for a while. We’ll be right here.”
    Isaac turned to Jos. He clearly wasn’t buying it. Jos forced a smile and handed Pistachio back to Isaac. “Go on and play,” he whispered. “I’m fine.” Isaac took his horse, and Kip set him down once again.
    “First thing, you are not going to end up back on the streets. That isn’t an option. Donald is going to help, and so am I.” Kip put his hand on Jos’s shoulder. He only meant it as a gesture of comfort, but the heat that shot through him was nearly overwhelming. Kip should have pulled his hand away, but he didn’t want that to be misinterpreted, so he left it and gently wriggled his fingers.
    “I can’t stop worrying,” Jos said. “What if Tyler had gone after Isaac instead of me?” He began to hyperventilate again.
    Kip soothed him as best he could. “He didn’t, and you’re here where it’s safe. And Tyler is behind bars, where he belongs. You don’t have to worry about him any longer.”
    The way Jos tried to curl into the chair made him seem small, like if he curled up as far as he could, he’d disappear completely. “I can’t help worrying. Isaac deserves so much