Free Ava XOX by Carol Weston

I’d gone from hero to zero without passing Go. He said he and Mom already knew about it, because after I’d told Mrs. Lemons, she’d told Principal Gupta, and she’d told Dad, and Dad had told Mom. Now there’s going to be a special assembly for the whole middle school on bullying and health and I don’t know what else.
    There was supposed to be a P-E-P rally next Tuesday, but it got postponed because of me. Kids like rallies more than assemblies, and I wonder how many people will know it’s my fault it got postponed.
    Probably everyone.
    I never want to go to school again.
    I wonder if I can fake being sick until summer vacation.
    AVA IN AGONY

2/19
5:30 P.M. IN THE LIVING ROOM
    DEAR DIARY,
    Dad asked if I wanted to go to the Great Wall or the Kahiki. I said I’d rather stay home with Taco, and could we order in tacos? Dad said sure and sat down next to me on the sofa.
    â€œThanks, though,” I said, and Dad patted my knee as if I were seven. He also said he had a cat joke for me:
    Question: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
    Answer: A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma means a pause at the end of a clause.
    I tried to smile, but I couldn’t, partly because the joke wasn’t very funny and partly because I’m feeling too mopey.
    Kelli once said her family likes to dine out on Friday, and what if I ran into Maybelle and Zara and Kelli in a restaurant, having a great time without me? I couldn’t take it.
    AVA, AILING
    PS I thought I was Ava the Wise, but I am…other wise .

2/19
BEDTIME
    DEAR DIARY,
    At dinner, while we ate takeout tacos, Pip said that her poster got ruined too—and so did Bea’s! Someone gave Mona Lisa a beard and wrote “Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle” on her chest! And someone drew inappropriate private parts on Bea’s deer! And boogies under the deer’s nose! And someone gave Aesop sunglasses and a goatee!
    I said the art poster vandals probably weren’t the same girls who ripped down my FLASH poster because those girls would never have written “Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle” on Mona Lisa .
    Pip said, “So true, Nancy Drew!” which she used to say back when she was reading an old series about a girl detective. (Now she’s reading a series about a lady detective. It starts with A Is for Alibi and B Is for Burglar , and there’s a new book for every letter.)
    We talked about who might have written on the posters.
    We did not talk about stupid Kelli’s stupid sleepover.
    Are Maybelle and Zara and Kelli hanging out in Kelli’s pink room? Are they eating chocolate-covered strawberries? Are they talking about Chuck? Are they talking about me ?
    I wish I were having the sleepover.
    And I wish Chuck weren’t Kelli’s boyfriend, because if he weren’t taken, maybe I could call him and he could help me feel better. I keep thinking about Rorie, and I do get some of what she and those girls were saying. But did they have to gang up on me five to one???
    A IS FOR ALONE

2/19
TWENTY MINUTES LATER
    DEAR DIARY,
    I wanted to talk, so I walked into Pip’s room and said, “Life is not fair.”
    Pip said, “Number one, you should learn to knock. Number two, I’m on the phone with Ben. And number three, life is fair ly fair for you and me. We have food and shelter, and you should have more perspective .”
    I made a face and left. She didn’t used to have any perspective, so who is she to criticize?
    Writing things down usually helps, but tonight I also wanted to talk . I’m only human. And only eleven.
    AVA, ARRRGGGH
    PS I wish I’d never written those Tanya Tips. I’m having a hard time not giving myself a hard time!

2/20
MORNING, SQUEAKY CLEAN
    DEAR DIARY,
    I’m glad it’s Saturday. I don’t have it in me to even think about going back to school yet.
    I don’t even feel like writing in you.
    I feel like soaking in a hot bath