Free Dead and Loving It by MaryJanice Alongi

might be, but it was also unmistakable. “What?”
    â€œPick up the phone,” the voice coming through the telephone squawked. “I want to be sure you’re getting all this.”
    â€œCan’t. Too tired.”
    â€œIt’s six o’clock at night, for God’s sake. Pick up the phone!”
    She muttered something foul and obeyed the caller. “Whoever the hell this is, you’d better be on fire.”
    â€œIt’s Moira, and I practically am…the high today was eighty-two. In May!”
    â€œMoira.”
    â€œYou should see what the humidity did to my hair.”
    â€œMoira.”
    â€œI look like a blond cotton swab.”
    â€œMoira! This is fascinating, but you sure as shit better not be calling me to babble about your for-Christ’s-sake hair. What do you want?”
    â€œIt’s not what I want,” Moira went on in her irritatingly cheerful voice. “It’s Michael. The big boss wants to see you on the Cape, pronto.”
    Finally, the silly bitch had Jane’s attention. Her eyes opened wide, and she sat straight up in bed. “Michael Wyndham? Wants to see me? How come?” And on the heels of that, a panicked thought: What’d I do? And resentment: Come, girl, good dog, here’s a treat for the good doggie.
    â€œMine is not to reason why, girly…and neither is yours. I suggest you get your ass out here yesterday.”
    Jane groaned. “Aw, fuck a duck!”
    â€œI’ll pass.”
    â€œI’ve got a date. Today.” She squinted at her watch. “Tonight, I mean.”
    â€œYou do ?” Moira sounded—rightfully so—completely astonished. She modified her tone, too late. “I mean, of course you do. Sure. It’s only natural, a…a lively and…er…opinionated young lady like yourself. With a date on a Saturday night. Yep.”
    â€œCut the shit. You’re embarrassing both of us.” Young lady. Right. Moira was at least ten years younger, half Jane’s size (and weight), and twice the brains. Calling Moira a silly bitch was only half right. “Fuck! I don’t need this now. You don’t have any idea what it’s about?”
    â€œUm…”
    â€œCome on, Moira, you and the boss are practically litter-mates. Spill.”
    â€œLet’s just say that in his newfound happiness with mate and cub, our fearless leader thinks it’s high time you settled down—”
    â€œNo, no, no! ”
    â€œâ€”and he’s met just the right fella for you,” she continued brightly. “He’s sure you’ll hit it off.”
    â€œDoesn’t the head of the pack have anything better to do than fix me up on yet another stupid blind date?” She could hear plastic cracking and forced her fingers to loosen around the receiver.
    â€œApparently not. Now tell the truth; the last one wasn’t so bad.”
    â€œHe cried like a third-grade girl when I beat him to the kill.”
    â€œWell, you did hog all the rabbits yourself. Tsk, tsk. ”
    â€œFigures,” Jane grumbled, swinging her legs over and resting her feet on the floor. “The first halfway decent guy I meet in forever, and the boss wants me to blow him off to meet some new dildo.”
    â€œSorry,” Moira said, sounding anything but. “I’ll leave the dildo part out when I tell Michael you’re on the way. And now, having imparted my message, I’d say something like ‘have a nice day,’ except I know you—”
    â€œHate that shit. Bye.” She hung up and resisted the urge to throw the phone against the wall. Fuck. Fuck fuck!
    She’d been so excited about dinner with Dick, she’d had a hard time getting to sleep. She’d finally dozed off near dawn…and slept the entire day away. Now she had to beat feet for the Cape of all places…fuck!
    She did throw the phone. But it didn’t make her feel any better,