Free One Foot in the Grave: An Almost Zombie Tale by Shanti Krishnamurty

door when it’s not in use.
    My eyes widen and I turn back to Daniel, who’s on the step above me. “Are you sure it’s open?” I whisper, not because anyone can hear me, but because it feels like I should.
    “Of course.” He pushes past me and knocks three times.
    I can’t help myself. I giggle. Daniel throws me a glare. “What’s so funny?”
    I gesture. “This is. I mean, there’s the staircase, you knocking three times. The whole thing is hilarious.”
    It’s obvious he doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about, so I elaborate. “Don’t you ever read? Good grief, this place is like every cliché in a horror novel, Daniel!”
    “It’s stairs and a door, Isis. What’s your problem?”
    I start to answer, but my attention is caught by the creaking door. I turn away from Daniel and my jaw drops. Not onto the floor, thank goodness, but actually open.
    The…I’m not sure what to call it…creature…standing in the open door looks at us and takes a deep breath in. I watch its chest rise and fall, because that’s easier than looking at its face.
    “Hey, Tucker. How’s tricks?” Daniel addresses the thing and, much to my shock, it replies. Its voice is the chill of the grave. I shiver.
    “Daniel,” my date’s name hisses out from between molding lips. “Did you bring me a bite?” It grins and I see an up-close mouth full of broken and stained teeth.
    “Ummm…not this time,” Daniel flicks a quick glance at me. “This is my…uhhh…she’s not food,” he finishes.
    The thing extends its hand, expecting me to shake it, I guess. Its skin is as pasty white and gross as mine. As usual, my mouth runs away with my common sense.
    “Are you a zombie?” I extend my hand in response, but forget about the small piece of flesh. It falls to the floor.
    It doesn’t answer my question, just stares at the tiny chunk, its mouth drooping open. “You going to eat that?” It finally asks.
    I bend over and pick it up. “It’s part of my ear,” I blurt out.
    “Oh, well then…can I have it?” A line of drool snakes its way down its chin.
    “Tucker, she’s not alive,” Daniel steps into the conversation.
    The corpse tilts its head to one side as it observes me. “There’s blood,” it states after a brief silence.
    This is getting creepier by the minute. Luckily, Daniel rescues me.
    “Tucker, trust me, she’s a guest, not dinner. No eating.” He takes me by the hand and leads me past the creature. I can feel it watching me as I walk away.
    “What the heck is that thing?”
    “That’s Tucker. He’s pretty cool for a revenant.”
    I stare at him. I have no idea what that is.
    “He’s a reanimated corpse.”
    Oh. Ewww, that’s kind of revolting.
    Now that I’m past the…Tucker, I glance around the huge rectangular room. It’s pretty dimly lit and I can’t see much past the small circle of luminance Daniel and I are currently standing in. Leather couches take form as my eyes adjust. I can see shapes moving around the place, but they’re not walking in the traditional sense. They almost glide across the floor, flickering in and out of existence, depending on the half- light to keep them solid.
    Daniel pushes at my shoulder. “Go on. Mingle.”
    “Mingle with what?” I ask. “I don’t see anything.”
    He points to the shapes. “Those. There.” He lowers his voice. “They’re the vampires.”
    Oh. My mouth dries. I’m not super eager to approach them and strike up a conversation. The gown I’m wearing feels tighter than it did at Lydia’s house and my heart starts to race.
    One of the forms pauses in mid-glide, half in and half out of a circle of light, and turns to face me. I still can’t see what it is beyond a dim shape, but I can sense its interest.
    “Uh, Daniel? That doesn’t look friendly.” I inch closer to him. So I’m a zombie chicken. I mean, chicken zombie. Darn it. Either way, I don’t want to talk to the vampire staring at me from across the