Free One Foot in the Grave: An Almost Zombie Tale by Shanti Krishnamurty Page B

soul?”
    “Would it make a difference?”
    I stare at the vampire. “Of course it would! How can I be alive without a soul?”
    “If you cannot tell, how can it matter?”
    My mouth snaps shut. I think this is a conversation better suited to someone with experience in spiritual matters. Someone like Father Moss. Speaking of…this seems as good a time as any to get some fantasy clichés answered, and Ink seems really nice. For a bloodsucker. “Can vampires set foot on holy ground?”
    “With special dispensation from the priest, yes. Otherwise we burst into flames. Much like what happens to us in direct sunlight.”
    “Why do undead eat humans?”
    “That has an easy answer. We need blood to survive, and they have it.”
    “Does that mean I’m going to eat people eventually?” My hands start to shake at the very idea.
    “It has been many years since a half-zombie has existed. I am not sure anyone knows what you will, or won’t, crave over the centuries.”
    “ Centuries ? I’m going to live for centuries ?” My voice rises, attracting the attention of other shadowy figures. They begin to move closer, almost like a pack. I think I might have just gotten myself into trouble. I ease closer to Ink, whose narrowed eyes tell me she’s not thrilled at the extra company.
    “Who’s the new toy?” The first creature to reach us grins, showing a mouthful of razor sharp teeth. I have no idea what it is, other than scary. Whatever it is, however, it’s sharply dressed in a gray suit with a red silk tie.
    “She is not for you, and she is not a toy.” Ink snarls. “Move along.”
    “She has flesh.”
    That’s enough. I step forward. “Okay, for one: Yes, I have flesh, but I’m fairly attached to it. For two: I’m not…uhhh…I’m not human, so I’m off the menu.”
    A cold, dry sound escapes its lips, like a million dead autumn leaves caught in a dust devil. It takes me a minute to realize it’s laughing. Drool snakes its way down its chin and begins to drip onto the floor. I back up until I’m pressed against Ink’s side.
    “I don’t care if you’re human or not. You are not protected here . That makes you food.”
    “She’s under my protection, ghoul.” Ink smiles and, as I watch, her canines elongate to points sharp enough to rival the ghoul’s teeth. “Back off.”
    The creature bares its teeth. “You are tolerated, vampire , not protected.”
    “I can protect myself.” Ink states. ”I have no need for his protections.”
    The ghoul backs away, and the shadowy figures that never quite materialized follow it.
    I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “What was that about?”
    “Not everything here is friendly,” Ink says. “This is not a place to let your guard down. Ever.” She half smiles. “Unless you’re Lorii, of course. No-one in their right mind takes on a banshee.”
    I was under the impression banshees did nothing but scream; other than being freaky loud, was that really a big deal? I might have to do some research on the subject so I don’t mistakenly get on her bad side. It’d suck to die now that I might have a cure for my issues.
    “Your date has been gone for quite some time. Have you been abandoned?”
    “He’s not really my date,” I say. “He’s just a friend.”
    “Your friend, then,” she corrects herself.
    I shift my stance slightly. “He wanted a drink and told me I should mingle.”
    “As you can see, some things here are decidedly un friendly, even toward other monsters. Until you are protected, it would be wise if you didn’t mingle.”
    I frown. “What kind of protection are you talking about?” I have visions of mobsters and, what are they called? Shakedown men? Wise guys? Something like that.
    “The ghouls belong to the owner of this club,” Ink says. “They aren’t terribly happy at the idea, so they tend to flex their muscles whenever someone interesting shows up unexpectedly.”
    “Does that mean I need to meet the owner?”
    The