Free How to Get Famous by Pete Johnson Page B

creep
into my voice as I cried, 'Georgia, tomorrow
night will be the greatest one of your
entire life. So just enjoy the moment when
you touch life's final frontier – fame.'

Chapter Eleven

    FRIDAY APRIL 16TH
    6.25 p.m.
    Warm greetings to all my fans (I know
you're out there somewhere) and anyone
else who's reading this. I am writing to you
tonight live from the theatre where my
great pal, Georgia, is about to be
discovered and yanked from a life of
obscurity to one of fame and fortune.
    And I've refused to listen to any more of
my petty jealous thoughts, and I'm just
going to enjoy this night. The atmosphere
is electric already. The ticket prices are
pretty hot too. One ticket had, of course,
been reserved for me. But I still had to pay
the minimum price – seven pounds. Some
people were actually showing off a bit and
handing over much more than that. I even
saw a few twenty-pound notes flying
about.
    Now I've been mingling with the thronging
crowds, trying to smell out media
people. I reckon the theatre is teeming
with them already. I even smiled in a
shamelessly dazzling way at a few of
them, hoping they might instantly spot my
rampant star quality.
    Instead they backed hastily away from
me, one or two even looking distinctly
alarmed. The fools will be kicking themselves
one day; there was one woman
wearing acres of make-up and prancing
about in an 'I'm so important' sort of way.
So I beamed winningly at her. 'Excuse me,'
I said, 'I'm sensing that . . . ' But I didn't
want to blurt out 'you're in the media' too
obviously. I wanted to be more subtle. So
instead I said, 'I'm sensing that you know
your way around.'
    She blinked at me in utter astonishment.
    'I mean,' I went on desperately, 'that you
know the ropes.' Then, as she still looked
blank, I said: 'You are in the media, aren't
you?' At this she burst into peals of
laughter and went off shaking her head.
Then she started talking to this man in a
pin-striped suit and pointing at me, while
laughing again.
    I stumbled off, somewhat embarrassed
and bumped into Enid Kay. You remember
her, don't you? She's the little old lady who
told me all about this play, the day I fell off
my bike. Well, she twinkled away at me
and then said, 'But I'm disappointed
you're not up on that stage tonight.'
    'I know, but I'm just too magnetic, you
see. The moment I pop up there I just wipe
out everyone else.'
    'Ah yes, I can see that.' She laughed.
    'But when I do make my debut on stage
I'll send you free tickets – for the front row
as well.'
    'And don't you dare forget,' she said.
    I saw Georgia's mum bobbing about too.
Her eyes looked big and hungry. She's
definitely got the scent of fame in her
nostrils tonight.
    Then I gave Georgia a quick call. 'So
how's life in the star dressing room then?'
    'Oh, Tobey, I've just had a coughing
fit. Wouldn't it be awful if I went out
on stage tonight and gave this great,
hacking cough?'
    'People will only think it's part of the
role and applaud you all the more. Now
remember what you've got to say just
before you go on stage.'
    'The time for worrying is over, now I'm
just going to – fly.'
    I've promised to ring her during the
interval and let her know how she's doing.
    8.05 p.m.
    The interval.
    And I've called Georgia already, I said:
'You were quality on that stage.'
    'You don't think I rushed my first lines?'
    'No way: and you should see your mum.
I wouldn't be very surprised if she just
exploded with pride soon. Just make sure
you're as good in the second half. But I
know you will because I've seen you do it
already. So you've got absolutely nothing
to worry about . . . just enjoy. Bye.'
    Immediately after making that call I
hurried through the crowds of people
queuing for choc ices and burst out of the
theatre. I found this secluded spot round
by the back and then proceeded to emit
large volumes of vomit. It's glistening up
at me now.
    Sorry if I've shocked you. I'm pretty
surprised as well. I mean, I went into the
theatre my usual hearty