Free My Little Secret by Anna J. Page B

time and I’ll be straight.
    Halfway through the movie Nevaeh says she wants to talk to me about something. She had mentioned it to me earlier too, but I was trying to avoid the conversation. See, she doesn’t know about me and Midori. She knows I know her and Ray, but she doesn’t know that she and I are intimate. Nevaeh is the jealous type, and even though we aren’t officially together, she would step to Midori like we were, and I don’t feel like all the drama.
    â€œSo, are we going to make it official or not?” Nevaeh asks through bites of popcorn.
    I try to act like I didn’t hear her, but she pops me in the head and asks again.
    â€œNevaeh, you know we don’t work out. With your schedule and mine, we wouldn’t be able to connect like we should,” I say, not wanting to tell her how I really feel. I mean, she’s excellent in bed, but otherwise she is a pain in the ass.
    â€œI understand that you have things to do, and I’m willing to give you room. I know how important your books are, and I won’t bother you. I think you should give us a chance.”
    â€œYou say that now, but you know how you get. Remember what happened the last time?”
    â€œI know, and I’m a different person now. Give me a chance.”
    I think about it for a while before responding. It ain’t like Midori is ever going to leave Ray. Shit, the way they’re living, she’d be a fool. It’s obvious from her not showing up this morning that her loyalty lies with her husband. On the flip side of all that, I know Nevaeh is so extra, and I’m really not in the mood.
    â€œSo, you’re just going to ignore me, huh?” Nevaeh says like she was hurt.
    â€œLook, let’s just see what happens. We can be exclusive, but let’s not rush into anything. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to be hurt either. Is that fair?”
    â€œI’m cool with that, but for how long?”
    â€œWe’ll just play it by ear, Nevaeh.”
    â€œOkay, but one last question.”
    I turn to look at her, so she can see the annoyance on my face. This is part of the reason why I don’t want to go there with her. I’m making a mistake, and I know it. Later on I’ll regret this, I’m sure.
    â€œWhat’s your question?”
    â€œDo you love me?”
    â€œYes, Nevaeh, I love you.”
    â€œOkay, I was just making sure.”
    Shaking my head, I turn back around to watch the movie, but soon I’m fast asleep. Thoughts of Midori rush through my mind, but I know I have to move on. All we have are memories and bullshit, and I am definitely cool on that.
    I will tell you exactly where I was but . . .
    Midori
    Â 
    â€œYou keep cutting me off.” It isn’t until Wednesday afternoon that I finally find a free minute to call Jaydah. She won’t let me get a word in edgewise, but that’s to be expected.
    Ray hasn’t left my side since we got here, but it wasn’t until this morning that I find out that he is really down here for a physician’s convention. It’s bad enough that I am forced here as it is, and I have to actually act like I want to be here, but I didn’t think he would be all up under me like that. At first I was pissed, but when I realized that it gave me a free minute to use the phone without having to sneak into another room, I was suddenly elated.
    â€œWhy the fuck are you calling me now? It’s been three days, and you stood me up. Midori, I can do without the extra bullshit.”
    â€œBut you won’t even let me explain—”
    â€œLet you explain what? That you’re so into yourself, you don’t give a damn about me? After all the shit we been through, and this is how it turns out for me?”
    Jaydah’s going off, but what can I do? Everything she said was true, but she knew I was married going in. When did things change? I knew when she gave me the