Free Jessie Slaymaker's Non-Existent Love Life (The Jessie Slaymaker Series) by Jo Iles

encounters with the Jackmeister and her head was in a spin.
    ‘Are you taking me out for the day then?’ she asked him cheekily, deciding to toss aside her plan of working. The third Sunday of the month was generally their catch-up day. Not that Jessie had actually remembered this month. She’d had other things on her mind that morning.
    ‘Of course, mon amie, where would you like to go?’
    ‘How about a drive out to the country, a walk, and a cosy pub for lunch?’ Jessie suggested.
    ‘You’re on,’ he replied, grinning at her.
    ‘And let’s not talk about a certain pair of siblings, okay?’ she added, looking him directly in the eye for the first time that morning.
    ‘That’s most certainly a deal,’ he said, sounding relieved.

Chapter 24
    Tom did not feel happy. Although he’d left things with Jessie on good terms, and they’d spent a fun Sunday together, he still felt unsettled. As he drove home, he thought about nothing else other than Jessie. She’d been lovely at lunch once she’d finally relaxed. She was fun and clever with a cheeky sense of humour. A perfect Sunday of companionship. So why was he unsettled and slightly miffed? Tom forced himself to pose some pertinent questions and admit some things that he’d been trying to deny for a while now. He’d been so looking forward to seeing Jessie today, but that mood had vanished when he’d encountered Jack on his way out the door.
    Although she hadn’t completely admitted as much to him, he’d inferred that Jack had stayed the night. Tom didn’t like that thought one bit. The thought of Jessie with Jack made his blood… not exactly boil, but it definitely increased in temperature. What was it about this Jack that he didn’t like? He didn’t even know the guy. Tom had made no bones about the fact that he disliked Charlie, but seeing Jack in her house had made him feel utterly lost when it came to his feelings for Jessie.
    As selfish as it sounded, he wanted her to go back to just liking Charlie instead.
    ‘But why?’ Tom asked himself aloud as he sped home. There were things about Jessie’s image of Charlie which were just figments of her imagination. Yes, he was a real person, but Jessie had romanticised the idea of being with him for so long that her perception of him now bordered on the fantastical. When Tom had seen Charlie’s obvious lack of interest in Jessie in the flesh, he’d regarded him as unattainable. A safe option. There was no danger of Jessie being taken away from him if she lusted after someone who barely noticed her existence.
    But he did want her to be happy, didn’t he? He’d told her that often enough. He just didn’t want her to be shagging around with some guy she’d only known for five minutes.
    Tom was jealous.
    ‘I’m gay, though,’ Tom declared staunchly to his rearview mirror. He knew he couldn’t expect her to be celibate for the rest of her life just so he could have all the companionship he ever wanted with her. That wasn’t fair to Jessie. Of course Tom loved her emotionally, but he knew he couldn’t love her in a physical way. He knew he couldn’t offer her a complete relationship in a traditional sense.
    Could he? Did he want to?
    Tom thought about that for a moment. The thought of touching a woman’s body. Of kissing and touching. The thought had repulsed him once upon a time. It still did, he realised. No, he definitely didn’t want to be doing those kind of things with women.
    As he slowed down to make a right turn, Tom noticed a man walking his dog on the pavement. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and Tom noticed how attractive the dog-walker was.
    ‘I’m still gay then,’ he said, smiling to himself, feeling reassured. He had started to wonder for a second there.
    Tom returned to imagining kissing a woman, just to be sure he was still as gay as he thought he was. Then he started imagining kissing Jessie, and he wasn’t nearly as repulsed as he thought he would have been. In