Free Seeing Daylight by Tanya Hanson Page B

three full cups of pepper jack while he considered what to say.
    “But he did come back to you. Rachel, none of us knows what we’d do, what we’d feel under extreme circumstances. Shock, grief, guilt.” And Brayton certainly didn’t. His shock, grief, and guilt had been of a very different nature. Nonetheless, he called up his love for Marianne, their trust in each other. He had to remind Rachel of that. “You loved him, right?”
    For a few seconds, her back turned as she reached into a cupboard for a clear glass bowl.
    “Yes. Yes, I did.” She dumped a ton of shreds in the bowl. “Of course I loved him. And I did understand, you know. About such extreme circumstances. He wrote. We skyped.”
    “So have you let it go?”
    She shrugged. “Somewhat. Or I’d go crazy. But he’s not here to heal up with me. That’s what I can’t get over.”
    He recalled her painful words back at the chapel. “Rachel, Nick didn’t want to die that day. If that’s what he wanted, he had better chances over there, before he came home. His death was an accident. Believe that. Maybe he was being a little macho. But it was an accident .”
    She turned to face him then. “How can you be so sure?”
    “Because I had an accident, too, and I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Memories sent his skin shivering. After a second, he spoke from his heart. “But mostly because no man would ever want to leave you.”
    She chewed a lip he ached to kiss. “But he wanted to go back. He’d have gone back if he could have. He told me every day.”
    Brayton touched her cheek. “But God kept him home with you. And God brought him home to you before calling him Home for good.” Brayton was more than ready this time.
    Tears dripped down her face as she wiped it with a black-checkered dish towel.
    “ It hit me. At church today. Next week. Next month, next year. And no matter the outcome, He will care for us.”
    At her dubious smile, he moved to hold her face in his hands and leaned forward. But even as her fingers clasped around the back of his neck, she drew back from his mouth. Like she’d done last night. His heart would have sunk to his soles if he hadn’t been a patient man.
    Next week, next month, next year .
    Thankfully, the churchgoers returned to distract them. As the cars pulled up, he pulled away from Rachel, willing her to feel his reluctance as well as his comfort. Addie dispelled any awkwardness when she burst through the kitchen door, wreathed in smiles, and threw herself into his arms.
    It was a moment he’d longed for many months, and he held his daughter close.
    “Dad, Bible study was awesome. I met some cool kids. And our teacher is this real beautiful widow Carol Aubrey. A widow, Dad.” She mouthed the words succinctly. “Can I go next week?”
    His heart lightened a bit at her words. Addie mentioning something about a beautiful widow might mean she wouldn’t object if he were interested in seriously dating. That she had gone past some of her resentment about losing her mother. And her eagerness encouraged him that she’d embrace the move to Woodside Meadows. She’d be near Hearts Crossing for riding and lessons and even a horse of her own. Making new friends was the third scoop on a double cone.
    “Of course you can go. I’ll make sure of it.”
    Addie’s face shone, but her hands rested stubbornly on her hips. “And Dad. The Beemer has got to go. Everybody around here has a truck.”
    He tried one of her eyerolls. “All right. You made your point.”
    “OK. I’m going to play with Matty. He’s the cutest little boy ever.” She ran outside.
    Brayton glanced over at Rachel, but she was busy pouring heavy cream into a big casserole. Her cheeks were bright pink, though. He knew he’d affected her, and his feeling of rejection eased. What was he thinking anyhow, trying to kiss a woman whose broken heart was still cracking? He rolled his eyes again, this time at himself. His reputation for perfect timing in a