Free Times and Seasons by Beverly LaHaye

you accountable. Nobody will expect anything. And then when they come visit you on weekends and you let them run wild just because you don’t want to have to deal with them, then you can blame me! ”
    Jerry pointed at Annie and Rick, who leaned against the wall with tears on both their faces. “Hey, these two turned out fine,” he said. “Apparently they weren’t too badly warped by my leaving you, so you can’t blame Mark on me.”
    “Well, I do!” she said. “I blame you, and I blame the divorce, and I blame that little wife of yours that broke up our marriage! And I blame every morning that Mark woke up without a father in the home. I blame every night that he went to bed without knowing what it was like to have a male role model!”
    Steve touched her shoulders, trying to calm her down, but she couldn’t be comforted.
    “I’ve tried to forgive you, Jerry Flaherty,” she cried. “I’ve tried my hardest. I thought I had.”
    Jerry’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t want your forgiveness, and I don’t need it.”
    She opened her mouth to lash back, but Steve put his arms around her and stopped her. “Come on,” he whispered in her ear. “Come on, Cathy. Just walk away. Come on.”
    Summoning all the strength she had, she shook out of Steve’s arms and took another step toward Jerry. She was trembling and felt as if something inside her would explode, that they would have to pick up the pieces and declare the end of her. “You’re going to be accountable one day, Jerry,” she said. “You’re going to have to face God with what you’ve done for your kids. He’s going to ask you where you were all those years, and if your little mistress was really worth it.”
    Jerry shook his head and walked away. She thought of going after him, grabbing him and making him listen to what he didn’t want to hear. But she couldn’t make him take the blame, or the pain, or the guilt that wasn’t supposed to be shouldered alone.
    She leaned against the wall and wept. Steve stood just off to her side, not touching her, but quiet as he waited. “I hope I’m there when God holds him accountable,” she said. “I hope I get to hear the answer, because I really want to know…” She brought both hands to her head. “I can’t take 365 nights like last night! I can’t live like that!”
    “I know, honey.”
    She covered her mouth with both hands and turned to her children. Rick and Annie hugged her as she wept out her anguish. Steve was behind her again, touching her back, stroking her hair. She knew that she was distressing him as much as the judge had distressed her, but there was nothing she could do. It was not a time for comforting. It was a time to mourn.
    Finally, Steve tapped her shoulder and said, “I’m going to go check on Mark.”
    He was gone for a few minutes, and she just stood there with Rick and Annie, desperately trying to hold herself together. She was at the end of her rope, about to let go and fall and fall and fall…
    When he came back, she stepped toward him. “Where is he?”
    “They’ve already taken him.”
    She slammed her fist against the wall. “Taken him where? ”
    “To River Ranch. Cathy, they said you can’t see him until Wednesday night. That’s the next visitation.”
    “No!” the word came out in horrified grief. “No, no, no!” Steve pulled her against him and held her.
    “Cathy, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
    Her body racked with despair. She had to stop them, she thought. She had to do something. She pushed out of Steve’s arms and bolted up the hall. He followed on her heels. She turned a corner and ran into Tory, Brenda, and Sylvia. “Cathy, are you all right?” Sylvia asked.
    “No!” she said, pushing through them. She grabbed Rick and Annie. “Come on, let’s go home,” she said. The two fell into step behind her as she hurried out to her car. She got into it and sat behind the wheel and looked back up at the courthouse. Steve stood on the sidewalk,