Free INFECtIOUS by Elizabeth Forkey

happened today?"

 
    "Ivy. I
will speak with you privately. Please go put our packages away." Her voice
is stern and her tone is one she seldom uses with me.

 
    Matt stares cooly at me and I'm humiliated in front of him as Aunty
sends me away like a little child. I'm not just mad now, I'm hurt too.

 
    I can't believe
she is doing this!

 
    I feel betrayed.
Like I'm twelve years old again and my mom just slapped me. Can't I trust
anyone to just be there for me? To care about me when I'm rightfully scared? I
feel a tug in my heart reminding me that He is always there for me, but I brush
it aside. How has He been there for me? It has been a horrible day. One of the worst days of my life, with no sign of Him anywhere.  

 
    Aunty is
probably dooming us. Matt could totally be part of what happened to us in
Commerce today. I have been freaking out, and rightfully so, and now she's
inviting the enemy to sleep in our house? I glare at him again as I walk to the
kitchen door.

 
    "Don't put yourselves out," he glances at me. "I can find a
place to sleep. I don't need your charity."  

 
    Aunty gives me a
face meant to send me on my way. As I storm out of the kitchen, I hear her
talking to him in that soothing, calm voice she uses to teach.

 
    "Do you
know what charity means Matthew? It is another word for love. Everyone needs
love. I can't make you stay here, but we have nice rooms and it would be more
convenient for you. I will understand if you decide not to stay. I won't be
offended."

 
    I can't stand
outside the door and eavesdrop, she will know; so I slowly walk outside and
start hauling the bags in.

Chapter Nine
    A Total Waste Of Milk

 
 
    I am laying on my bed when she knocks on my door. I'm still hurt
and still angry. I know she's in charge of me but we take care of each other.
We run things by each other when something as big as this comes up. Then, today
of all days, she pulls rank and doesn't care at all for me or what I've been
through. I have every right to be mad. Every right to be
afraid. They are wicked and dangerous. How dare she insist that I plump
his pillows and clean his bathroom when he's probably here to hurt me? I hate
him.  

 
    "Ivy?"

 
    I still don't answer, still don't offer her to come in. She can open the
door if she wants to boss me around some more, it's not locked.

 
    "Honey, I
know you've had such a hard day. I love you and I'm praying for you. The Lord
is good and just as I know He'll care for us, I know we need to care for this
boy. I don't mean to make you sad, but I'm really sure about this. I brought
you some tea.        I'll set it here by
the door for you. When you are done resting, please come help me cook dinner.
Okay?"  

 
    I don't say
anything. I'm crying quietly now. Her sweet tone has broken through my anger. I
hear her walk away towards the kitchen and unwanted tears plummet down my
cheeks. I'd rather be angry. Sad and hurt feels worse.

 
    And
guilty.

 
    Why should I
feel guilty!

 
    But I do. I know
it's because she's right. We are supposed to love. We are supposed to be the
opposite of them and all they are is hate. They even hate each other. I'm
supposed to care less about my own fears and my own preservation, but it's human nature to value myself over him. I feel—ashamed.
And I'm mad about it. I don't want to be forced to feel something I don't want
to feel. I should devote myself right now and seek help for this, but I can't
bring myself to do it. Maybe I'll get to that later.

 
    Ugh.

 
    Worst
day ever.

 
    I crack open the
door and draw in the hot cup of tea and then quickly re-shut myself in. Sitting
on the side of my bed, I sip at the soothing brew and try to feel positive. I
look down at my new clothes and my mood only darkens. A glance at my new shoes,
that I kicked off next to the bed, makes me feel ridiculous and embarrassed and
I stuff them in the back of my closet. I'm so mad at myself for that stupid
girly