Free Forced Offer by Gloria Gay

for it will not last long," she added hurriedly on seeing the look of horror in Belinda's eyes. "Men have great pleasure in these things—more so with light skirts than with wives, of course— but women must just put up with the whole unpleasant business. Unfortunately, it is the only means of getting children. Once the appropriate number of children is achieved, though, they then turn to their other women and leave you at peace."
    "Mama—I would rather not talk about this anymore. It's making me sick."
    During the flurry of hurried preparations for the wedding, Belinda had gone through everything as in a trance, allowing herself to be led here and there without protest. Lord Berrington's sister-in-law, Flora, who had not smiled at Belinda once, and had spoken the bare minimum to her, had taken charge of everything and made all the decisions without once asking Belinda for her opinion, not even in the choice of wedding gown. Belinda had blanked her mind to all but the immediate present, so that on being reminded now that there was to be a contact between Lord Berrington and herself on their first night together panic now came to her in choking waves. She had again that sensation of her lungs being filled with water.
    Belinda's information concerning relations between men and women came from books of poems. Embraces she read about in these pages were intensely romantic occurrences and kisses were as light as the touch of dew. Pain often stealed through these love scenes, but only as the pain wrought from separation or from a faithless love.
    But this pain her mother had spoken about—it was a physical pain she meant, a pain that had nothing to do with the idealized version of love Belinda had.
    Belinda pressed her hands to her temples and wondered if she even had the capacity to withstand the horror that her life had now become.
    There was to be no honeymoon, and for that Belinda was thankful, for she couldn't imagine what she and Lord Berrington would find to talk about if forced to each other’s company during an extended length of time. It was enough that the journey to Winterhill was to be done in three days, stopping in inns along the way, for it could not be done any faster.
    "Yes, dear," said her mother, cutting into her uneasy thoughts, "I think it is best not to talk about it. In any case, men don't want their brides to be too knowledgeable about the subject, it makes them suspect they might have experience."
    "Mama—"
    "Alright, I shall not speak anymore about it. Ring for Minnie then so she can finish with your packing."

    * * * * *

    Belinda, lost in her thoughts, looked out the window of the Blue Teal Inn, a large, well-run establishment on the Northampton Road, and at the activity of coaches arriving and departing. She was brought back from her reverie by the voice of her new abigail, a lady's maid Flora Berrington had engaged for her in her usual peremptory manner.
    But Belinda liked the girl, who was young and as inexperienced in everything as she was and looked at her admiringly.
    "My lady," said Bessie, holding a light blue nightgown in one arm and a white one on the other, "which would you prefer?"
    "The white one, I think," said Belinda without enthusiasm, and choosing it merely because the other was too revealing.
    She had gone through a silent meal with her husband; his inscrutable brown eyes as shut to her as if they had been closed. He had been cordial on their arrival at the inn, though, and attentive, if in a distant way, as if he were speaking lines on the stage at a theater, but like his sister-in-law, spoke the bare minimum to her. His sister-in-law, however, had not even bothered to be cordial.
    And after forcing herself to swallow a few bites of the meal which stuck in her throat like straw, she had excused herself from the table and gone up to her room.
    After helping her out of her clothes and into the nightgown, Bessie asked her if she would like her hair unbraided. Belinda nodded