Free Commanding Heart by Madeline Evering Page B

Knight
wore his habitual look of calm control. Catherine’s eyes fluttered in relief as
she gave a small nod of acknowledgement to the captain. The initial difficulty
was over and Catherine began to hope that she might make it through the evening,
and indeed the rest of the journey, unscathed.
    The officers filled the evening with
talk of the storm, the damages that had occurred and the subsequent work
required to repair the sails and rigging. Catherine took small part in the
conversation but listened closely to the details in fascination. That HMS
Triton could weather such a blow was a testament to the strength of both
the ship and its captain. In all of the discussion of actions taken and crises
averted, Catherine saw the guiding hand of Captain Knight. She could not help
but be impressed by his skill as a leader and his careful management of this vast
crew of men. Catherine looked to where the captain sat talking with one of the
lieutenants and was struck once more by his physical presence and authority. Unbidden,
the image of Captain Knight in her cabin came to mind. Catherine struggled to
control her emotions but her face betrayed troubled thoughts. At this same
moment, Captain Knight’s attention turned to Catherine and he caught the conflict
in her face. She struggled under the intensity of his gaze, the powerful,
knowing look that seemed capable of reading her inmost thoughts. Desperately
she turned away to reengage in conversation with those immediately around her.
Too much had passed between them; Catherine knew that for her own safety, she must
keep her distance from Captain Knight.
    As Catherine rejoined the discussion
of her tablemates, she found the talk had turned to the effort required to get
the ship back on schedule in order to reach their destination without further
delay. In the turmoil of the last few days, Catherine had forgotten her former
worries about their arrival in Jamaica; her thoughts had been occupied with the
more immediate situation with Captain Knight. Now, however, as each man voiced
his opinion on the length of their delay, Catherine grew in anxiety. Finally
finding her voice, Catherine spoke the question she least wanted answered; “May
I ask, gentlemen, how far we are from reaching Jamaica?”
    All conversation around her ceased; every
man knew Catherine’s discomfort whenever their final destination was discussed.
Lieutenant Matthews gave an uncomfortable cough but could not respond. At
length, it was Captain Knight who addressed Catherine’s question in a low voice;
“We will complete the necessary repairs by mid-day tomorrow. With that
accomplished, Jamaica shall be reached in three days time, given good weather.”
    Catherine felt the words hit her like
a physical blow. Three days! It was impossible that the journey was to
end so soon, that Jamaica – and her father – could be so near. Catherine
blinked, lowering her head in confusion as she struggled to maintain composure. Three days without obligations. Three days to be herself. Three short days
of freedom were all that was left. The anguish on her face was evident to all.
Catherine felt every eye turned upon her, knew she must speak, but it took a
great effort before she could finally raise her lowered head and address the
officers of the Triton. “You see my great dismay,” she said shakily;
“How loathe am I to part with your good company…..” she trailed off on a
whisper. Catherine looked around once more, avoiding the captain as she did so,
in a struggle to finish her words. “I shall regret our arrival in Jamaica very much” she said simply, after which she rose, quietly excused herself and left
the room.
    In the sanctuary of her own cabin,
Catherine threw herself upon the bed and gave in at last to her strong emotions.
She wept tears of anger and frustration but relief would not come. As the final
tears fell to her pillow, Catherine sighed in sorrow at all that was lost
before succumbing at last to a deep,