Free Heartbeat by Tara Ellis

read messages he’d exchanged with random bitches.
    After reading the Facebook messages, I called Sprint and requested all of the cell phone records. I spent two hours torturing myself going through them page by page. Rick and that bitch, Kia, talked every day for hours. When did he have the time? If he wasn’t spending at least 16 hours at the hospital, he was with me. Or so I thought. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I was going to vomit, but still, I couldn’t stop looking at the cell phone records. Over 100 texts last month! I wanted to scream, I wanted to curse, I wanted to do something but I couldn’t force myself to stand from my bedroom chaise. I stared at the computer screen until the words and numbers became a blur. But it was ok because I was already planning my exit strategy. I’d played the fool for too long in this marriage.
    I wanted to call that bitch. I wanted to tell her just how pathetic she was to be sleeping with a married man, a man that would never be her own. But I didn’t. I wanted to hold on to the little self-respect I had left, so I shut down my laptop. I stretched because I’d been sitting in the same position for the last two hours and every muscle in my legs had become stiff.  
    I don’t know why I did it but as soon as I stood, I burst into tears. But these tears were different than any of the times I cried in the last week. This time I cried so hard, I thought I would vomit. Seeing how frequently Rick communicated with Kia made their relationship so much more than sex. Was he in a relationship with this tramp? How did he possibly have the time to carry on two relationships? He spent most of his time at the hospital with his cancer patients, or so I thought. What stabbed my heart was that he made time for her. He had to juggle things in his schedule just so he would be able to be with her.  The realization only made the tears come faster and harder. It was the ugliest cry and I felt like I was dying. I was crying so hard my chest began to burn but I couldn’t stop. I cried out to God; why and how could He let this happen to me? I was a good person. I was a good wife. What could I have done to bring this kind of pain into my life?
    It was time for me to make some decisions. It was time I told my parents. I thought about packing all of my stuff and just going to their house but I wasn’t the one who stepped out on my marriage, so why should I be the one to leave?
    With trembling hands, I dialed my parents’ home number. My father picked up on the first ring.  
    “Hello.”
    “Hey, Daddy. Is Mama there?” I’d never been really close to my father so there was no way I was going to confide in him. I would just let Mama break the news to him.
    “Well, hello to you, too.” He said with slight agitation.
    “Oh, I’m sorry, Daddy. How are you?”
    Daddy went on to list all the things that were ailing his aging body for ten minutes before finally handing the phone to Mama.
    “Hey there, my pretty girl,” Mama said.
    “Hi, Mama. Are you busy?”
    “Not for my baby girl. What you got going on today?” Mama’s voice was always chipper like she’d never seen a bad day. That’s one of the reasons I loved calling Mama. No matter how I was feeling, I knew I could call her to make me feel better.
    I sighed and tried my hardest to keep from falling apart when I said, “Mama, it’s over.”
    “What? What’s over?”
    “My marriage,” I said, unable to control my sobs. I swear I thought I would become dehydrated with all the crying I was doing today.
    Mama sighed and I could tell she was leaving the room because everything in the background went silent. “Calm down, Charlie, and tell me what is going on.”
    “Rick is cheating on me!”  
    Mama was a devout Christian but what came out of her mouth next was anything but. “I know that muthafucka’ ain’t!”
    It felt good to hear Mama curse Rick. I wanted her to hate him as much as I did right now.
    But then just as