Free Heartbeat by Tara Ellis Page A

quickly, her rational side took over and she said, “Is this something you suspect or something you know to be a fact?”
    “I caught him with her, Mama. I seen them together. ”
    Mama sighed and let another curse word slip. “Rick must done lost his got-damn mind! What’s wrong with that boy?” She paused as if she were collecting her thoughts. “That hospital done ran him insane? I know full and got-damn well he done lost his mind.” She went silent for a second then said, “Please don’t tell me you caught them in bed together!”
    I gasped at the thought. “Oh lawd! Naw, Mama! I would be calling you from jail if that would have happened!”
    Mama laughed and her thick laugh was contagious because it caused me to laugh, then I sniffled before I dropped the real bomb on her. “I’m going to file for divorce.”
    There was a silence that I hadn’t expected on the other end and I choked on my own shock when Mama said, “Now wait a minute, Charlie. You can’t make a life changing decision like that when the wound is so fresh. Not when you’re this angry.”
    “What! Mama, I’m leaving this nigga! I caught him coming out of her raggedy ass apartment a whole week ago and I haven’t heard or seen from his ass since.” That wasn’t fully the truth because he had come over the following morning after I caught him, but I needed Mama to be on my side. I needed her to be mad. To tell me it was fine to pack my shit and leave Rick high and dry.
    Instead of saying that, Mama just sighed again and said, “I just can’t believe this. I would have never in a million years think Rick would do some bullshit like this.”
    “I won’t give him another chance to hurt me like this, Mama.” My mind darted back to the first time I found out Rick had cheated on me. I was entering my second year at UT and he was just beginning medical school. I still remember the girl’s name, the text message she’d sent while he was asleep at my apartment. I remember how he begged and pleaded with me then to forgive him and how he swore up and down he’d never, EVER, cheat on me again. Never hurt me like that again. Now, I wondered if he’d kept that promise up until we were married, or if he’d managed to cheat on me year after year without getting caught. I didn’t have to convince Mama. She wasn’t the one married to the bastard. I knew I would never give my heart to Rick again.
    “Well, lemme’ just say my piece, Charlie. I’ve lived on this Earth far longer than you have and I’d like to say that God has blessed me with quite a bit of wisdom.” She paused because she knew I wasn’t going to like what she was about to say next. “Just take some time to calm down before you make a final decision. Go and get somewhere quiet and go talk with the Lord. See where He leads you before you make this decision. Now, I know what Rick did was awful, just terrible, but divorce doesn’t always have to be an option.”
    I wanted to scream obscenities, but it wasn’t Mama that I was mad at. After promising her I would take her advice, I hung up the phone, went into my bathroom and did something to my head. I was tired of the bob. I grew to hate the look since Rick had said he liked it. It took less than an hour to take the weave out, wash and condition my hair. I didn’t have time to do much with it, so I pulled it into a messy bun on top of my head, put some mascara and eyeliner on and headed to the salon. I wanted so badly to cancel all my appointments for at least a week. Something I’d never done. I just needed some time to myself. Some time to sit around the house in sweats and drown my sorrow in wine and chocolate ice cream. But no, I couldn’t do that. I had a salon to run and clients who booked their appointments months in advance.
    In the car, on my way to the salon, I thought more about what Mama had said. My broken heart wouldn’t allow me to see a future with Rick. There was a gaping hole in the center of my heart as I