Free Horrible Harry Cracks the Code by Suzy Kline

The Ketchup War!

    M y name is Doug, and I’m in third grade. I write stories about my best friend Harry. He’s the guy who loves slimy things, creepy things, and horrible things. He’s also the guy who loves being a detective.
    He sure messed up his last case, though.
    Mary was talking about it at noontime. We were all eating lunch at Room 3B’s cafeteria table.
    â€œHarry, I can’t believe you thought Miss Mackle was engaged to the music teacher!” she groaned. “You were so sure it was Mr. Marks! Some detective you are!”
    Harry stuffed an orange wedge in his mouth and flashed Mary a jack-o’-lantern smile.
    â€œArrrrrrr aar arrrr,” he mumbled.
    Song Lee giggled.
    Mary ignored Harry. She gently pressed her packet of ketchup four times to make tiny red dots on her hot dog.

    When Sidney squeezed his packet of ketchup, it squirted all over the place. A few drops even landed on Song Lee’s pretty white sweater! The pansy on her sleeve was not purple and yellow anymore.
    It was red.
    Harry immediately took out his orange wedge and dropped it on his blue lunch tray. “Hey, Sid! You got ketchup on Song Lee’s sweater! How ’bout saying you’re sorry?”
    â€œBut it’s not my fault,” Sid whined. “I can’t help it if my ketchup packet doesn’t work right.”
    Song Lee used her spork to scrape off the ketchup. When she finished, we could see a big pink smudge on her sleeve.
    â€œOh, no! Your favorite sweater is ruined!” Mary groaned.
    Harry ripped open one corner of his ketchup packet, leaned toward Sidney, and squeezed it with one mighty push.
    Whooooooosh!
    Kersplat!
    Ketchup landed on Sidney’s face.
    â€œEweeyeee!” Ida said. “Sidney has a bloody nose.”
    â€œAnd bloody teeth!” Mary added.
    â€œBut it’s not my fault!” Harry replied. “I can’t help it if my ketchup packet doesn’t work right.”
    Those were the exact words Sid used!
    When Sidney wiped his face with a napkin, he missed some ketchup under his nose. It looked like he had a red mustache!
    â€œVery funny, Harry the Canary!” Sid growled. “Only, I forgot to laugh.”
    â€œYou’d better not forget to apologize to Song Lee,” Harry said. “Or else . . .”
    â€œOr else what?” Sid demanded.
    â€œOr else it’s a . . . ketchup war,” Harry said, “between you and me!”
    â€œBring it on, El Tweeto!”
    â€œAfter you, Sid the Squid!”
    Both boys reached for a ketchup packet. Both ripped off one corner.
    We all leaned back and got out of the way.
    â€œFire one!” Sid said, aiming the packet at Harry’s face.
    Whoooosh!
    Harry quickly bowed in prayer. The ketchup plopped on top of Harry’s head. It blended in well with his red hair.
    â€œFire two!” Harry said as he bobbed up, leaned forward, and squeezed his packet hard at Sid.
    Ketchup sprayed along the table.
    Most of it landed on Sid’s cheek and chin!
    Harry ran his fingers through his hair. “Ketchup gel is cool, Sid. Thanks for my new ’do!”
    Sidney grabbed his napkin and wiped his face again. He wasn’t smiling like Harry. Slowly, he turned and looked at Song Lee. “I’m sorry I got ketchup on you,” he said. “I don’t like it on me either.”

    â€œIt was an accident,” Song Lee replied with a forgiving smile. “It’s okay, Sidney.”
    â€œThe ketchup war is over!” Harry sang out.
    â€œI’m telling on you boys!” Mary said, raising her hand in the air. “Mrs. Doshi!”
    The lunch aide came running over to our table. “What’s going on here?” she said.

    â€œA ketchup war,” Mary tattled. “Harry Spooger and Sidney LaFleur are not using their ketchup packets properly. And Song Lee’s sweater is stained!”
    Mrs. Doshi asked the three ketchup victims to follow