your daughter!
Your goddamn flesh and blood. I never agreed to be paraded around like some
show pony, Mother, but you also never told me your intentions. Did you? Do you
even care how I feel about last night, or are you too wrapped up in your own
little world to see that other people live in it with you?” Blowing the steam
from my mug, I sip. Swallowing, I sigh and lean back against the counter. “You
want an apology, Stephanie? I’ll give you one. I’m sorry I didn’t see your
hidden agenda. You’ll have to forgive me for believing, that for a second, my
parents actually wanted to include me in their lives. Not that you ever have
before or anything. How stupid of me to believe you’d start now.”
“Careful,
young lady,” she warns, her face hardening.
“What,
exactly, did you promise them?” I continue, ignoring her completely. “Was I
supposed to do birthday parties? School assemblies? Music lessons? Hell, I
wonder what kind of investments a few quickies in the back would get you. I hear
I’m a great lay.”
“That’s
enough!” she screams, slamming her hand down on the table. “We taught you
better than this. No matter what we’ve done for you, given you, Ireland, you’ve
always been so selfish. The publicity could have been our chance to draw
attention to the work we are doing. Work that will change the world someday. Can’t
you see beyond that brat mentality of yours for once and see what you cost us
last night? Your little tantrum set our research budget for next year back
months.”
“That’s
right,” I nod, placing my cup in the sink. “It doesn’t matter what it costs
anyone else, does it? You’re not concerned with the fact that your actions
cause problems for others.” Throwing up my hands, I round the counter for the
doorway. “The selfish brat thing must be a family trait.”
“Ireland!”
she shouts, “I’m not finished with this discussion.”
Stopping
dead in the doorway, I glance at her over my shoulder. “You know what sucks?” I
ask, my eyes and throat burning with the tears I refuse to let fall. “I think
this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had. There was a time when I’d have
done anything you asked for your approval and attention. All I ever wanted was
for you to see one fucking thing I did and be proud of me. I ached for a close
relationship with you; but now,” I shake my head. “I don’t even want to be here.”
“If
that’s how you feel,” she sighs, looking down at her hands again, “then you
should leave.”
Without
another word, I leave the room. There is nothing more to say. My opinion and
feelings don’t matter anyway. The lines are very clear with my mother. If your
actions aren’t helping her, then you’re of no use to her.
Storming
into my room, I start throwing my shit in my suitcase. She’s right, I should
leave. That may be the only thing we ever agree on. The front door slams so
hard, the floor shakes beneath my bare feet. Not like I expected anything else
from her after that… It’s true what they say. If you stand back and pay
attention, people will show you who they really are. The blinders are off and I
have no choice to face facts. I never belonged here.
I’m
a misfit, born into a family I was never meant to fit into.
Dragging
my bags down the steps, I jump when the doorbell chimes. “The fuck?” I ask
myself, knowing that the only people who can get to the front door without me
knowing have to have the access code to the gate. Since they all have keys,
none of those people would need to use the doorbell.
Pushing
up on my toes, I look out the peephole and see nothing but white. A horn beeps,
relentlessly, over and over in some sort of brain bleeding Morse code. “Who in
the hell?” I ask, shaking my head. Grabbing an umbrella from the stand beside
where our coats hang on the wall, I fling open the door, prepared to rip
whoever managed to get in when my mother left a new ass.
Instead,
I run face first into
Milly Taiden, Mina Carter