Free The Armchair Bride by Mo Fanning

dropping over the edge. She fell apart. That’s when she started coming to the theatre all the time, policing my every move. I know she goes through my pockets, listens in on my phone calls, reads my email. I let her do it. I honestly thought if I could prove to her there was nothing going on, we might stand a chance of … but now…’
    ‘Now?’
    ‘She’s thrown me out. Said she doesn’t want to see me again. Said she stopped loving me the day she…’
    Brian leans in as to share a secret.
    ‘She stopped loving me the day we lost Gordon,’ he says.
    There’s that name again. I have to ask.
    ‘Who’s Gordon?’
    ‘Our son. He died. I never even knew she gave him a name until a few years back. It all came out one night when we’d both been drinking, we had a flaming row and she told me about him. She’s been talking to him, letting him grow up in her mind. Now she says she doesn’t need me. That Gordon will look after her. I don’t know what to say. How do you compete with a ghost?’
    Brian’s eyes well up. I wonder, if I hold my breath for long enough I might be able to faint and be whisked away, released from a situation that would surely win me admiring glances in future ‘most embarrassing moment at work’ tournaments. I’ve never been good with emotional scenes in public, toss in someone who I don’t know terribly well, who happens to be my boss and I think going to pieces is a perfectly sane course of action.
    ‘I’ve never laid a finger on another woman, Lisa. I’ve had offers, of course I’ve had offers but I really do care about Audrey, and I can’t reach her. What the fuck can I do?’
    People stare. I touch Brian’s hand gently. It seems the right thing to do. He looks up, his eyes red rimmed.
    ‘I’ve been staying at the Travel Lodge since Saturday. She threw me out as soon as you left. Told me she wanted a divorce. She’s barricaded herself in our house and I’m not allowed to go near. She won’t even answer the phone. We’ve really messed up our marriage, haven’t we?’
    To agree would sound cruel, I know, but what else is there to say? One lunch has managed to rearrange everything in my head. Just as I thought I understood that my boss is a two-timing bastard, it turns out he’s devoted to a woman who gave up on love.
    We struggle on through lunch and I steer conversation onto anything but Audrey. By the time coffee arrives, I’m exhausted.
    We leave together. Brian hails a cab and holds open the door for me to climb inside.
    ‘I’ll get the bus if it’s all the same to you,’ I say and he looks hurt.
    ‘You don’t want to give the wagging tongues any more ammunition do you?’
    ‘It was just lunch.’
    ‘I know that, Brian, but how would it look? You taking me out to a fancy restaurant the day after Nina resigns, while the whole theatre buzzes with rumours of you having an affair.’
    ‘Are people really talking about me?’
    His eyes grow wide with worry. I shake my head.
    ‘Not really.’
    ‘But you said ...’
    I’ve never been happier to see my bus coming down the road.
    ‘Look, I’ve got to go,’ I say. ‘Thanks for lunch. Next time I’ll pay.’
    He nods and gets into his taxi.

    Back in Manchester, I stop at a sandwich shop to avoid any questions about what I did for lunch.
    ‘Where are your shoes?’ Sharon says as I sit back at my desk.
    I shrug. ‘They had to order in special glue.’
    That afternoon, I sign off holiday requests without so much as a glance at the calendar, approve expense claims which may or may not have been inflated. My head is a mess. An email from Andy inviting me to relax and unwind over a drink in the stage door bar is just what the doctor ordered.

    ‘You’re starting to feel sorry for him,’ Andy says as he sips his drink.
    ‘I think there may be another side to the story.’
    ‘Lisa, you know what you get like when you start feeling sorry for men. You’re the reigning queen of the sympathy shag.’
    He’s