Free Nona and Me by Clare Atkins Page A

that Nona would stop looking at me, or that I could disappear.
    Nona watches, then spits in the palm of her hand. She wipes the glob of saliva on her forearm, rubs it back and forth, then holds it out towards me.
    Her voice is soft and kind. “It doesn’t come off, see?”

11.
    2007
    Nick and I are lying side by side on the grass. Our school uniforms are dappled by the sun peeking through the shade of the mango tree. We look up at the branches. There’s no fruit yet. June is dry season – way too early in the year.
    We let our extremities touch. Our ankles, fingers, arms. The feel of his skin sets my insides on fire.
    Selena and Benny are sitting nearby, on our benches by the basketball court. We lazily listen to them talking.
    Selena’s voice is earnest. “Okay, but Benny. Be serious. You can’t really rate Gaytimes above Magnums, can you?”
    â€œIt’s the little tiny biscuit pieces. They get me every time.”
    â€œBut the ice-cream quality …”
    â€œInferior, I admit.”
    â€œAnd the chocolate …”
    â€œYeah, that too. But –”
    â€œGet over the biscuit pieces!”
    â€œI can’t!”
    â€œOkay then, hypothetical. What if I take a slightly melted Magnum and roll it in biscuit pieces? Then which one’s better?”
    As Benny pauses to consider, Nick rolls to face me. “My sister is an idiot.”
    I smile. “In a good way.”
    â€œIf you say so. Hey, you want to come over again this weekend?”
    â€œWith them?”
    â€œHopefully not. We could order in some pizza. You could stay over.”
    He must see the surprise in my face, because he hurries on. “I mean, if you want to. If your mum’s cool with it.”
    I don’t tell him my mum doesn’t know anything about him. Instead, I say, “What about your parents?”
    â€œThey’re cool. I’ve had girls stay over before.”
    I can’t help frowning, and he quickly amends the statement. “I mean, just one. One ex-girlfriend. They didn’t care.”
    I wonder who it was, and if he’s lying about the number. I know who he’s been out with. I’ve seen them around school together, last year, the year before. Tiffany. Rebecca. Jess. Melissa. Jane.
    I pick a blade of grass and roll it between my fingers. “I don’t know.” I’m thinking of how it was with him, after Libby’s party. Nick on top of me, grinding. Me freaking out.
    Maybe he’s thinking the same thing, because he reaches for my hand. “No pressure.”
    I look up and meet his eyes. “Really?”
    â€œReally.”
    I take a deep breath and say, “I’ll ask Mum.”
    *
    I don’t, of course. Mum would never let me. She’d say,
Who is he?
then,
I have to meet him first
. And then she’d say no anyway. She’d tell me I’m too young, that I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.
How long have you been together? Two weeks?! Why didn’t you tell me straight away?
She wouldn’t understand that I just want to lie with him, side by side. She’d say he has ulterior motives. And maybe she’d be right.
    So I take the easy option and say, casually, over dinner, “I’m staying at Selena’s this weekend, okay?”
    I wait for Mum to object, to notice the guilt in my voice. But my staying at Selena’s is nothing out of the usual, so she says, “Fine. Is Anya going to be there too?”
    â€œProbably.”
    â€œAre you still hanging out with Anya?”
    â€œOf course.”
    The truth is, Anya’s drifting. Some days she doesn’t sit with us at all. She says she’s got assignments to work on. I think the couple thing bothers her.
    â€œWhy don’t you invite her over one weekend?”
    â€œYeah, maybe.”
    â€œSelena too, if you like.”
    In the two years we’ve been friends, Selena has never come to my house. I