Free The Pirate Bride by Sandra Hill

grinned then, except Thork.
    And except for Bolthor, who constantly bemoaned the overlarge number of children he already had. Plus, “Katherine will kill me if I dare to lie with another woman. She’ll say I planned this all so that I can fornicate and claim no responsibility.”
    And except for Jostein, who harbored sour feelings toward all women because of the dispute with his wife. Jostein’s one and only wife, by the by, the man never having practiced the more danico , or multiple wives.
    “Spare us your disapproval, Thork. Have you never fantasized about being a love slave?” This from Henry, who should have the least interest in slavery of any kind since his mother had been a thrall.
    “Never.” But now that you bring it up, it does have a certain allure. Nay, nay, nay, it does not. I cannot fall into that trap.
    “Did you see the one named Lilli? Hair like wet sand, green eyes, bosoms out to here. She has been following me around like a besotted puppy.” Henry sighed and cupped his hands out, far out, in front of his chest to demonstrate.
    “Just because a wench wags her tail does not make her a docile pet. A dog is a dog. Beware of bitches. In the end, they all bite.” This jaded view was expressed by Jostein, of course. What had his wife done to turn him so sour? Thork wondered, recalling a time, not so many years ago, before his marriage, when Jostein had been merry of heart.
    “I canna think of aught better than taking a woman dog style,” Jamie said.
    By the runes! What has one to do with the other?
    “What is dog style?” Brokk wanted to know.
    Jamie proceeded to explain in detail, including an explanation of how that position allowed a man to strum a woman’s “bud of paradise” whilst tupping away.
    Jostein made a snorting sound and muttered something about never having heard of such strumming.
    “No wonder your wee wife left you,” Jamie concluded, ducking as Jostein attempted to punch him in his laughing mouth.
    “I for one never noticed the one named Lilli. You can have her, but I get first dibs on Solveig, the rudder master,” Finn said. “There is something about her that bespeaks experience in the bed furs.” Thork couldn’t help but notice that Finn had somehow managed to trim his beard and mustache already, probably after bathing in the pond. The rest of them were clean but decidedly scruffy-looking, while Finn managed to look like he’d just prepared for a royal feast.
    “You do not want a virgin?” Brokk asked Finn. “Everyone says the best sex is like guiding a sleek longship down a narrow fjord, even if a dam must be breached first.”
    Everyone blinked with surprise at the obviously untried boyling.
    “Brokk, Brokk, Brokk!” Finn patted his shoulders. “The best bedsport comes with a woman who knows what to do with a . . . a longship.”
    “I’m saving myself for Ianthe,” Alrek said.
    “Hah!” Finn snorted. “You have as much chance with her as I have with Isobel.”
    Alrek and Finn had fallen head over lackwit arses in love with the two women on a recent trip to Miklagard, the golden city known by the Greeks as Byzantium. Neither had been favored with reciprocated feelings from the two women, who now lived in the Saxon lands.
    “I have not given up hope,” Alrek said, raising his chin defiantly.
    “Hope is the salvation of all men,” Bolthor proclaimed, about to launch into a saga, no doubt.
    Luckily, or not so luckily, Jamie continued with the previous conversation. “Personally, Siobhan, the bonnie Irish lass with the lush bottom, is more to my taste. I do like something to grab on to when taking the wild ride.”
    Thork had to smile. “Jamie! Forget about her buttocks. Siobhan is older than you by ten years at least. Plus she is in charge of all the outdoors, including the gardens and plough fields and animals, like pigs and cows and chickens. Do you see yourself as a farmer now?”
    Jamie pretended to shiver at the prospect.
    “There is naught