Free Alana Oakley by Poppy Inkwell

snatched the container of rotting vegetation from Alana and clomped to the door as fast as her five-inch wedges allowed. The idea of fruity face masks and vegetable facial scrubs required further investigation. Immediately!
    Ling Ling gave an apologetic shrug and turned to go – but not before slipping a DVD called Dating Simulation into Emma’s hand with a wink.
    Emma was careful to conceal the newly acquired DVD behind her back as she kissed ‘LaLa’ goodbye. Alana had many names. She was Clever Clogs, or Darling Girl, or LaLa to her mum, and sometimes Lani or Lana-Iguana to her friends. Katriona secretly called her Piranha – Alana Piranha – because, to Katriona, the name suited her to perfection: a small, ferocious beast with sharp teeth that tore you apart and asked questions later. With that kind of reputation, Emma was reluctant to tell Alana anything about her upcoming date with Dr Gray.
    When Emma finally had the house to herself, she slipped the DVD into the player and pressed
    â€˜Play’. The head and shoulders of a handsome Japanese man appeared on the screen. He smiled. He nodded. His facial expressions changed from one of sympathy to polite humour. Suddenly, he laughed out loud. It was all very baffling. The instructions were little help: No lonely anymore! They promised. Date-boy be your friend. Smile. Have fun. Say, Cheese! With a start, Emma realised she was expected to practise ‘conversing’ with the screen ‘date’, who made sympathetic noises and sounds.
    â€œHi, my name is Emma,” she began. “No. Scrap that. You know my name already. Umm, I really enjoyed your book.”
    The Japanese man gave a slight smile and shrug. Wow, Emma thought. Not a bad start.
    â€œHave you always liked working with teenagers?”
    The man’s face broke into an enthusiastic grin. Emma was amazed: I’m really good at this!
    â€œI’m feeling pretty nervous.”
    The man smiled in sympathy. I’m on a roll! She chortled.
    Hours later Katriona and Ling Ling returned. Emma was still in her nightie with her hair un-brushed. The skin of Katriona’s face was a lurid green, while Ling Ling’s was a blotchy, bright purple.
    â€œLook at this, look at this,” Emma cried, her mouth overflowing with popcorn and painkillers. She turned to the man on the TV screen. “My feet stink so bad, people usually ask me what died!”
    On cue, the Japanese ‘date’ threw his head back and gave a throaty chuckle.
    â€œI’m on fire!” Emma said excitedly.
    Katriona ripped the snack bowl from Emma’s unresisting fingers and bent down until they were eye-to-eye. “You. Are. Not. Taking. This. Seriously. Enough,” she bit out.
    Emma drew back suddenly from the green ghoul who had replaced her friend. “What happened to your face?” she said, aghast.
    â€œYou!” her friends howled with such Wicked-Witch-Of-The-East-like fury that Emma wished she had magical ruby slippers to click together to escape home. Not that it would have helped, she remembered …
    She was home!

CHAPTER 13
    One step forward, two steps back
    Saturday night arrived all too soon for Emma who – after a week of anxious waiting – was a bundle of nerves. Katriona and Ling Ling solved the problem of how to tell Alana by turning up with an armful of clothes and make-up for Mum’s Hot Date. Alana was fine once she’d established the Hot Date was over 18. She did not want a repeat of the Jet Tierbert fiasco!
    â€œGrandma will be happy,” was all she said.
    Emma wasn’t too pleased to be reminded of that fact, but she was very pleased with her appearance. Katriona and Ling Ling had worked their Make-over Magic. Gone was the soft, tatty, comfortable nightie. Gone was the bushy, untameable mane. Gone was the excessive hair that had invaded her eyebrows, under-arms and legs. In their place was a sleek, sophisticated woman